How To Discover What You Really WantI’ve met so many people over the past four years since I began my online journey. Everyone of them have been unique in their own way. But I’ve also realized that a lot of people seem to just be going with the flow so to speak.  When I ask people questions like who are they, what do they really want, what’s your life’s purpose, they don’t have a quick answer.

Your Core Values

When you are able to really live your life in alignment with your core values, you will realize that you are finally living the life you’ve always wanted.

Your core values all began with knowing what is the most important thing to you in your life.  What really motivates you!  When you become conscious of what these really are then you can design your best life.

So do you know what yours are, I mean do you “really” know?  Let’s do a little exercise. Write down a list of words that would describe what’s most important to you.  Start with a list of 20 words that would best describe what you really want and what motivates you. Here is a list of over 100 words that might help you get started.  You can print this out and just circle the words if that will be easier.  It might not be a complete list so by all means, include your own. This is your life we are talking about after all.

The next step you would want to do is narrow that list down to the top 10 words that would best describe your core values.  Prioritize them by importance with the first one being the most important.

You may say that they all are important but look at it this way.  If I told you that you were only able to pick just one word what would that be?  Now let’s say you were only able to pick two words, what would those be?  So list them in sequence of what’s the most important to you.

Once you have that completed you have now written down your core values.  They are your foundation.  They will help you realize what’s most important in your life.  Where do you want to be spending most of your time or where do you want to focus the majority of your energy?

Once I completed this exercise I realized that money and success are not at the top of my list.  Do you know what was?  Faith, family, gratitude, those types of things were much more important to me than the money or success.

What this exercise will help you realize is how you’ve been spending your time.  What you have been doing the most is not your top priority in your life.

I can hear you now saying “yeah I know that Adrienne, I really would prefer spending all of my time with my family but in order to have the freedom that I so desperately want I have to work long hours now.”  I know that it’s important to give up some things in order to get what we really want.  That’s so very true so I’m not going to argue with you about that at all.  But you will find that when you start aligning yourself with your core values you will start to become so much more fulfilled and start living your life to the fullest.

Moving On To Your Why

Once you have your core values down it’s time to move on to figuring out your real why. Why are you here, why are you building a business, why do you want to be successful?

Most people will list things like they are doing this because they want more freedom to spend with their family, they want to make enough to put their kids through college, they want to be able to take more vacations, they want to be able to support their family in a lifestyle they know they deserve, etc.  All very good reasons to be doing this and I applaud you.  We all want to have a better life.

But you will soon learn that these things are not what drives you.  It’s not what really motivates you.  When you dig much deeper and really start to look at this you will soon realize that your real why has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with what you can give.   What you can contribute or give of yourself that will help make this world a better place in some way or another.

Tony Robbins says that the biggest two core needs of a human being in a spiritual sense are to contribute and to grow and evolve.  When we aren’t doing that, we are unfulfilled.

The End Of Your Life

Studies have shown that when you ask people who are at the end of their lives what really mattered the most to them the majority said that what they contributed was what mattered the most.  It had nothing to do with what they had acquired, the money they had made, the status they had achieved, none of that was important.

Now remember, these are people who are on their death bed so they have nothing more to look forward to.  What mattered the most was their contributions.  What they were able to give was more fulfilling to them then anything else in the world.  How they treated people, their families, their friends.  How they actually showed up in their lives. When it was done with integrity and love, that was so much more important to them.

You can’t take possessions with you but you can leave a legacy behind.  How do you want to be remembered?

It’s Not About The Things

I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of stories in your life about people who have so many wonderful things.  The big mansion, the fancy expensive car, the bank account with millions of dollars in it yet they still aren’t happy.  Why do you think that is?  The natural core of every human being is to give whether it’s through love, gifts, understanding, sharing.  Most people are conditioned to think “what can I get”.  That’s why a lot of people are so unhappy.  Things don’t fulfill you at your deepest level.

I’m not saying that those things aren’t enjoyable and that they aren’t worth having.  What I am saying is that they aren’t fulfilling.

We have to fill ourselves up with what we want first before we can give it to anyone else. Take love for an example.  People want to be loved right.  The problem is if you haven’t learned to love yourself first then you will not have a successful loving relationship because you aren’t able to give in return.

I love helping others, I love giving to others so when I do, I am so filled up.  Sometimes I almost feel like I’m going to burst I’m so happy.  That’s what really matters the most.

How To Discover What You Really Want

Now that you have made your list and realized what’s really important in your life it’s up to you to create that life for yourself.  It’s not up to anyone else but you.  You are the one in control.

Once you learn to live the love, the peace, the gratefulness, whatever you put on your list, that is how you can discover what you really want.  What we want the most, we have the power to give the most.

So what did you discover about yourself after making your list?  What was at the top of your list?  Did you learn that it’s not about the money or success?  I know that a few of you are much more grounded and have learned what’s more important to you while on this journey so I’m sure you didn’t learn anything today that you didn’t already know.  But hopefully I was able to help just a few people who may still be struggling with trying to discover what they really want.

I’ve been on this magical journey and you know how much I enjoy sharing what I learn along the way.  Sometimes we just need that small piece of information to help us understand or maybe we need it explained differently in order to point us in the right direction.  Whatever that may be, I hope I’ve been able to contribute even in some small way.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this topic and what you’ve already figured out while on your own journey.  Do you know what you really want?  Did you have some of the same revelations I did when realizing that the things I thought mattered most in the world were really second nature?  Some people will be surprised.  I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.