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When Life Gets In The Way

April 23, 2012 | By Adrienne Smith

When Life Gets In The WayThe majority of my readers stop by my blog each week because they know I’m always sharing with you things I’ve been learning as I continue my online journey.

I had the honor of highlighting last week the lovely Annie Andre.  She was my guest blogger last Monday and she shared her video editing talents with us all.  She was a huge hit I might add.

Luckily for me, she contacted me on Wednesday asking if I would cast a vote her way for a contest she had just entered.  I was more than happy to not only vote for her but help her get even more so she was again the center of attention in my Thursday post.  By the way, if you haven’t voted for her would you be so kind to just “like” her blog.  That’s all you have to do.  

Had Annie not contacted me, in all honestly, I was seriously considering missing my first post ever here on my blog.

Life Got In The Way

I have not been myself for a week now.  I’ve done my best to keep my mind occupied but I have waves of sadness that just hit me head on.

I lost a dear friend of mine a week ago today.  Tony lost his battle with cancer, a disease most of you know I’ve had in my life since I was barely out of diapers.

Cancer doesn’t care who it affects.  It doesn’t care that Tony had so much more living to do, that he has two boys that need their Dad, a loving wife of almost 30 years, a family who loved him dearly, friends who thought the world of him and a faith you could not shake.

Life isn’t fair sometimes and I have learned to not obsess over things I have no control over.  But death still gets to me.

The Strong One

My Dad always use to call me the strong one.  Growing up with that term I thought it meant that I had to be strong for everyone all the time.  My Dad never explained to me what he really meant.  Like most kids, I just assumed.  It wasn’t until about 20 years ago that I confronted him about that.

He had meant that I’m strong willed, I take things on head first.  I’m a go getter, I always land on my feet, I’m always up for whatever someone throws at me.  I took it to mean that I had to hide my emotions so I did.

When my Dad passed away nine years ago, the flood gates just opened up.  I honestly can’t explain it.  I cry over everything now, even commercials and especially sad videos.  You can only imagine what the passing of a loved one does to me.  I’m a sap!

Tony is the third person I’ve lost in my life since the passing of my Dad.  I’ll just be honest with you, it never gets easy.

It’s Okay

I’m not going to beat myself up over not staying focused, for not meeting the goals I had set for myself this month, for falling down on what I wanted to accomplish in this 100 day biz challenge I’m a part of and for not being myself in my comments I’ve left on your blogs.

It’s okay because life does get in the way.  People pass away unexpectedly, things happen in our personal lives that are going to get in the way of our business goals no matter how hard we try to stay on course.

Life Goes On

We have to live our lives without some of the people we love now.  I am going to do my very best to concentrate on what I do have and not dwell on what I don’t.

I hope to be back to myself and able to share with you more helpful tips that you can use to get you further along in your business in my post on Thursday.

I just want to thank you all for your continued support and faithful readership.  It means the world to me and I hope to not let you down as I struggle to get through this.

And I will because I do have so many wonderful friends and family members that are helping me understand that it’s okay to be sad.  It’s okay to not be on top of my game.  It’s okay to let my emotions get the better of me.  It’s okay to grieve for Tony as long as I need to.

We all have to deal with life, and it’s just going to get in the way at times.

I would just like to end this post by reminding you all to let those around you know how much they mean to you because life happens and sometimes it’s not how we planned.  Sometimes those we love are taken unexpectedly and I prefer never having any unspoken words between us or them not knowing just how very special they truly were.  ♥

 

 

 

 


Business Developer
Skype:  missadriennesmith
Email:  Adrienne@AdrienneSmith.net

 

{ 132 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jamella Biegel
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:28 AM

Hi Adrienne,

I am sending you a virtual hug and condolences on the loss of your friend. Losing our loved ones is rough. You must allow yourself time to grieve. Take as much time as you need. Your faithful readers will be here when you are ready to post again.

Reply

2 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:37 AM

Hi Jamella,

Thanks for that virtual hug, I’m feeling it! :-)

I appreciate that, it’s been a rough week. A lot rougher than I imagined. I’ve got to get my mind back on work… It just comes and goes.

Thanks for your wonderful words, I appreciate you Jamella. ♥

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3 Pauline Bennett
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:30 AM

Hi Adrienne
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend Tony, I am sure you know that we are all here for you and yes it’s ok to not be on top form! I lost both my parents and my in-laws a few years ago and we can’t all get through these times unscathed, it took me a long time to just feel a little normal again, we all grieve in different ways.
Take your own time to get back into your work routine and have time for yourself, it’s always good to talk and you are brave to share all this with your readers, you will be in my thoughts.
Pauline

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4 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:42 AM

Hi Pauline,

I’m so sorry for your losses Pauline. I can’t even imagine losing both your parents and your in-laws. Losing my Dad was the hardest one so far. Shortly after that I lost my Uncle and my cousin, both unexpectedly. I know death is inevitable for us all. It just doesn’t make it any easier when it comes knocking on our door.

Thank you for your kind words Pauline and I don’t feel very brave. I just want to be honest with you all as to why I’m having a very difficult week. In my heart I know that Tony wouldn’t want me to be upset or depressed. But shaking those feelings is a whole other story! Dang!

Thank you again Pauline and you have a beautiful week for me okay! :-)

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5 Sylviane Nuccio
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:43 AM

Hi Adrienne,

Well, I so understand how you feel, you don’t even know how. As you know I lost my four legged Tony 6 months ago and I was a wreck for a long while and I still have burst of tears when his absence get overwhelming. Some people may feel and think that the lost of a pet is less of a painful blow, but depending on the circumstances of the person, it really isn’t. There is just no telling how anyone’s death can affect you.

My mother suffering from the last stage of Alzheimer disease and my brother having turned his back on my because of religious beliefs linked to the fact that I left the said religion 6 years ago, he also cut my aunt’s phone line international access so I wouldn’t have any communication with her either. So, yes, my cat passing was HARD.

Having said all that, like you, Adrienne, I’ve always been very sensitive and like you crying for the littlest thing I saw or heard. However, I am stronger than I’d ever thought I would be because if I can go through what I’m going through now, I can go through just about anything. I have to say that my education in the personal development field helped me to no end.

All my best to you, Adrienne and I hope you will find some strength blogging, just like I did. I know this is going to help you. Blogging helped, and still helps me tremendously.

Have a great week Adrienne :)

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6 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Hi Sylviane,

I know exactly how you feel. When I lost Blake back in 2005, I had to take all his photos down and get rid of his bowls because anytime I looked at them I was a basket case. Of course the emptiness was the worst. He was my son, my best friend and we were together for 19 years. When you don’t have children of your own and your pet is your only companion, that’s a huge loss. I so get that Sylviane.

You definitely are a strong one and I admire you for what you’ve had to go through. Sometimes I wonder if I would be that strong if I was all alone and by myself. Thankfully I’ll never know so my heart goes out to you.

Writing this blog post helped somewhat. I don’t really want a pity party, that’s not why I wrote this. I think we all have to deal with some sort of loss in our lives from time to time so we just do what we can to get through the coming days. Time does help, I know that and with time I’ll get over these feelings. I’m just much more sensitive these days and I’ll be doing just fine for a few hours and then fall totally apart. Out of the blue, unexpectedly. But I’m letting it out, I have no choice.

Thank you Sylviane and for sharing that with me. I really appreciate your friendship and being there for me. It really does mean the world to me. I intend to have a much better week. Thank you for that.

~Adrienne ♥

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7 Sylviane Nuccio
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 6:40 AM

Adrienne,

I wanted to thank you because thanks to you, again, I made two more contacts from your blog. One is with Franziska which came to my France Travel and Food blog and the other with Annie Andre which left about 5 comments there by now.

I been looking in all corners of her blog these past few days and it really inspired me to write my next post on my France blog which will be published tomorrow. Then, I thought about interviewing her and posting the interview as a post, of course, and… guess what? She agreed! Yeah!!!

Now, another 2 blogs I’ve got to visit every week, thanks to you , Adrienne ;) My France blog which was just about dead until now has now over 15 comments on my last post with my new thesis skin and all this good stuff updated.

I now spend about 45 minutes to an hour a day, just answering all the comments on my three blogs and I feel that it’s going to get worse :) Or should I say, better :)? I’m very exited!

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8 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 8:35 AM

Hey Sylviane,

Ah, the lovely Franziska and of course the fabulous Annie. So glad they visited your blog young lady and found you through me. Yey, I love that!

I’m so happy that she accepted to do an interview with you and I have no doubt it will be a hit. I’ll be sure to stop by tomorrow and support you with that post as well.

I’m glad your travel blog is coming alive again and sounds like they are all keeping you busy now. That’s a good thing though.

By the way, I included your post on the lemon in my post today. Was going to send you a tweet but this is the next best thing. Thank you for sharing that and hope it gets you more traffic.

Have a great day Sylviane.

~Adrienne

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9 Dee Ann Rice
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:46 AM

Adrienne,

I have been thinking about you all week. I know it must of been a very difficult week.

Life is always getting in the way for me and I do not get my post written. I really admire you for getting your posts up even when life got in the way in a much bigger way.

Take time for yourself right now and give yourself the time to heal.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dee Ann

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10 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:53 AM

Hi Dee Ann,

Thank you, I appreciate that and for everything you’ve done for me Dee Ann. I know you understand why this has hit me so hard. It really was a pretty rough week.

The service was absolutely beautiful and the procession to the cemetery was so emotional. They shut down the entire freeway because there were so many cars in that procession. He had over 400 people at the service. It was a very cloudy day and rained a little on us at the graveside. Mom told me that God was sad that he had to take him from us and I so believe that.

Yeah, I almost just let it go entirely. I didn’t want this post to be a poor pitiful me post but I did want to let everyone know that life does get in the way of what we have planned. It happens to us all so we just have to deal with it and move on. I’m doing my best to get through the moving on stage. I know time helps… I just hope it hurries up.

Thanks Dee Ann for everything. I really appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. You are a real friend.

~Adrienne ♥

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11 Chrysta Bairre
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:57 AM

I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I can relate too well to your post today as I’ve been experiencing my own set of challenges recently. I’ve managed to post a new blog entry each week, but I’ve had trouble keeping up with blog commenting & social media.

We all experience different levels of hardship in our lives. I’m grateful to be part of a wonderful, supportive, and inspiring community of bloggers. This community has kept me going through great days and challenging days.

Have a grateful day!

Chrysta

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12 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:09 PM

Thanks Chrysta, he will definitely be missed.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with your own challenges. Life does happen doesn’t it? We plan certain things, we have it all mapped out and then time gets away from us or we end up not having enough time to get everything done. I know that working a full-time job is difficult and trying to squeeze time in to do everything else too.

We do experience different levels of hardship, you’re right about that. That’s why I wanted to write this post today. Life does get in the way and sometimes it just can’t be helped. But that’s okay, we can’t beat ourselves up over it.

I agree with you, our blogging community is wonderful and so supportive. They are very helpful and encouraging as well. It’s just a great community to be a part of. We are truly blessed.

Thank you Chrysta and I intend to have a very grateful day!

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13 Franziska San Pedro
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:08 AM

Hi Adrienne,

all my sympathy to you and many many warm hugs, I am very sorry to hear about your friends passing. My Dad used to say the same to me about being the strong one. And he meant that I’d always fall on my feet just like a cat does and get things done when I put my mind into it.

You know being strong means so much more; to it’s also how to deal with pain, to grief but to know that we are safe and everything is alright. Cry when you feel sad, take help when you need it.
Much love to you, you are strong, I agree because you give yourself time to heal (and you talk about it, it takes a lot to write about your feelings, thank you!),
xx

Franziska San Pedro

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14 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:36 AM

Hi Franziska,

Thank you so much, it’s been a very difficult week. Much harder than I thought. Even when you know his time was coming it’s still not easy to deal with.

So your Dad use to tell you the same thing. You’re right though, it does mean so many different things. It wasn’t until we had that talk that I realized he didn’t mean that I couldn’t show my emotions. Once he passed away though, I couldn’t hold them back any longer. A few things actually changed with my body after his passing. That was just really weird.

I’ve been struggling to get back to “normalcy” Franziska so since it’s not happening like I had hoped, the only thing I knew to do was just be honest with my readers as to why I’m not on my game right now. I hate feeling like this so I’m really hoping I can shake this soon.

Thanks for understanding and I appreciate all your kind words. They really do help!

~Adrienne
xoxoxo

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15 Bill Dorman
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 9:08 AM

Life does get in the way at times; whether we are ready or not. And sometimes it can seem uncaring and cruel but that’s just life at times.

As I ‘mature’ I appreciate life more and see how precious relationships are, it allows me to not get too worked up about things that really don’t matter in the big scheme of things.

Sorry for your struggles and don’t forget to remember all the good things as well.

Good to see you on this Monday.

Reply

16 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:17 PM

Boy, ain’t that the truth Bill!

As I was talking to my sister last Tuesday giving her the news, she reminded me that I’ve lost a lot of people during my lifetime. I lost friends in car accidents when I was still in school, friends in bazaar work accidents, a co-worker in a very freak accident and friends to unexpected illnesses. Then I had to deal with my Dad all those years and watch people he volunteered with pass away. Life is definitely precious and it makes the little things not so important you know. People get upset over the most ridiculous things when you really should be grateful for the friends and family that you do have. Life is precious and too many people take it for granted.

My neighbor and best friend lost a co-worker the night before we lost Tony. He had an aneurysm at work at the age of 48 and he has two small children. He was the bread winner of the family, his wife has never worked. Life isn’t always fair and death can come at the most unexpected times.

Appreciate those people who are still in your life, let them know how much they mean to you, never let words go unspoken. Life is definitely way too short for some people Bill.

So glad you appreciate life much more now and I hope that you have the opportunity to enjoy it until you are damn old! ;-) Me too!

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17 Carolyn
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 9:14 AM

Hi Adrienne,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know you were a huge support to Tony and his family during his struggles with this terrible disease.

Thank you for sharing your grief with us and reaching out. The blogging community can be a huge source of strength, as you pointed out in your article last week, Blogging Community to the Rescue. I hope we can be a source of support for you in your grief, Adrienne.

Hugs and love,

Carolyn

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18 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:20 PM

Hi Carolyn,

Thank you, I really do appreciate that.

You are right, the blogging community can be a huge source of strength and support. They definitely have helped Annie with her contest and you guys have been so thoughtful with all your kind words helping me get through this phase.

I appreciate you Carolyn! ♥

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19 Angel
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 9:38 AM

Hi Adrienne,
Yes i know what you mean. I have being and am around sickness closely and definetely changes you. Bussines is not the most important thing, it is only to pay your expenses and similars. You have my understanding and support, take it easy whenever posible.

When some health problem occurs or death, i start rethinking what is important and not in my life.

Big support for you,
Angel.

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20 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:24 PM

Hi Angel,

I know you are dealing with it on a daily basis. Taking care of your Mom in her time of need. I applaud you Angel for being there for her.

You’re right, business is not the most important thing when things like this happen. It is what puts the food on the table so I’m not belittling it at all. If it weren’t for that we would be homeless but we do have to take time to heal after a loss. Although Tony wasn’t a family member, I’ve know he and his beautiful wife for over 26 years. We definitely have been through a lot together. I just hate losing those who have so much more life to live.

Thank you for your support Angel and I appreciate you my friend.

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21 Corinne Rodrigues
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 10:14 AM

I’m so sorry about the loss of your friend, Adrienne. Do accept my condolences. Strangely the older I get the more I too seem to cry over losses and even the silliest of things – movies and books. I think crying is really a sign of our growth in loving….Take care of yourself ♥

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22 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:26 PM

Thank you Corine and it’s good to know I’m not the only one who gets emotional over the silliest of things. I feel like a big old sap sometimes and as Oprah always use to say, I don’t want to go into the ugly cry. I’ve been doing a lot of that this past week. Not pretty at all! :-(

Thank you for your thoughtful words, I really do appreciate that.

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23 Ilka Flood
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 10:18 AM

Hi Adrienne,

Once again, I am very sorry about the loss of your friend. I have found that hanging on to the good memories helps get through those difficult times somewhat. That and talking about the person and not holding your grief in. Let if flow out, let the tears roll if they come. It all helps.

Hugs,

Ilka

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24 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:30 PM

Hi Ilka,

I appreciate all your kind words Ilka, they mean the world.

Thinking about all the fun times we use to have is what has made me such a sap lately. Boy, we did use to have some fun times too. Tony, Carla (his wife) and I use to go country western dancing all the time. They lived about 45 minutes from me so I’d spend the night with them because it was pretty far for me to drive home after a night of dancing and drinking. Tony was a good looking cowboy, 6′ 3″. We use to have barbecues at their house all the time and his parents and her parents would be there too. Lot’s of friends, lots of food, lots of drinks and lots of fun. We didn’t know how to do it any other way. We should be having more of those…

Thanks for the hugs Ilka, they are greatly appreciated.

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25 Steve Hippel
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 10:31 AM

Hi Adreinne.
I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said.
Just look at those comments and know how well thought of and respected you are by your readers (FRIENDS!). It’s not just your family and close friends that are there for you at this difficult time, we all are.
I hope that knowing this helps to ease your pain. Our thoughts are with you.

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26 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:33 PM

Ah thank you so much Steve, you got me tearing up again. I really appreciate that, it means the world.

I am truly blessed, I say that all the time I know. But in all honesty I have the best friends and family in the entire world. Now I have this wonderful blogging community that I really look at as wonderful friends too. Everyone has really been so supportive of me and what I’m here to accomplish but all in all, we are all just human. Living our lives to the best of our ability and dealing with what life throws our way. Sometimes it’s not pretty either.

Thank you for your thoughtful words Steve, they truly do mean everything to me. Especially as I do my best to get through these difficult days.

xoxoxo ♥

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27 Cat Alexandra
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:16 AM

Dear Adrienne,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of Tony in this big world. It sounds like he was a really wonderful person who left way too soon.

I resonate with the other commentators here in saying that your faithful following will remain faithful. I hope that you don’t worry about that so much while you’re giving yourself the space to grieve your dear friend.

Be gentle with yourself, my sweet an friend. Sometimes life takes unexpected turns and all we can do is the best we’re capable of in that timespace. Sounds like right now, the best thing is making sure you can soak up the things that make you feel good and loved right now, so that you can keep yourself together.

I am here for you if you would like to talk, too! (And I hope you will take me up on this if you feel like talking!) Thinking of you here and sending you lots of love and good energy. If I can help with anything, please let me know!!

Big hugs,
Cat

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28 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:43 PM

Hey Cat,

I appreciate that and you are so right, Tony left this world way too soon.

I’ll do my best and as I mentioned, I’m not going to beat myself up if I can’t get back into the swing of things as quickly as I had hoped. I know why it’s taking me longer though and I have to let that go. Easier said than done is my problem.

I did take some time for myself this past weekend. I was in such a deep funk that I couldn’t really do anything else. I hate feeling like that though but I guess it was necessary. I sat outside yesterday and that felt really nice. I’m just really slow getting started this week unfortunately. I need a magic pill, do you have one? ;-)

Thanks Cat and watch out. I may take you up on your offer.

You’re the best and big hugs back to you.

~Adrienne

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29 Cat Alexandra
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:53 PM

I think I get where you’re coming from my dear…I had something like this happen with a friend too. Seems like these things just need to run their course through us so we can cope in the way that works best for our unique lifestyles.

And tell you what, I’m totally prepared for you to take me up on the offer. Always here for you!!

Love and thoughts,
Cat :)

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30 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 1:29 PM

Thanks Cat! I appreciate that! :-)

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31 Pj Zafra
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:40 AM

Hey Adrienne,

I’ve been M.I.A. lately because of a temporary shift in focus. It’s great to see your posts again.

I’m deeply sorry to hear about your friend Tony. I offer my deepest condolences. I know how that feels and it’s terrible. We just have to accept though that it’s just a part of life. Tony has passed and without a doubt, he’s at a much better place now.

Just be strong and ALWAYS remember, we’re here for you.

Take care always! :)

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32 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 1:02 PM

Hey Pete,

I hope everything is okay with you… Always good to see you back.

My logical mind knows he’s in a better place, he’s no longer suffering. My emotional mind misses the hell out of him and knowing his boys will never see their father again is what gets me. I remember losing mine and I was 45 years old. It’s a constant struggle between the knowing and feeling. I’ll get there though so thanks for that Pete.

Good to have you back! :-)

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33 Harleena Singh
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:48 AM

Wish I could just hug you Adrienne!

I know the distances are far, but if it were possible, more than words, a warm – heart-felt hug may bring some comfort.

I feel so bad about your loss, as I know you had mentioned about Tony last month when we had our email conversation. You did mention about his kids and wife and how you were all so close. Sometime’s life is just not fair I think.

I know as I also lost my mom to cancer a few years back, but she was a brave lady and stood strong and gave us courage instead. However, I strongly believe that those who are close to us, or whom we are close to, always remain around us as our guardian angels.

And it’s absolutely alright to feel how you do presently. But I feel Tony will always be there in your memories and around his kids as a guardian angels – they never leave us :)

I know at such times we also have our work and other things to take care of, but sometimes we should just let loose and feel the emotions coming through, and let the tears just fall. I am quite like you Adrienne, and as I am growing older I realize that I cry so easily now – just at about anything. Sometimes it’s a movie, sometimes it’s just what my kid’s may have said – whether it’s happy or sad – I guess the tear glands have just got over activated now :)

But like they say that it’s alright to let them flow, because it eases and calms you later. So, don’t worry about things and just take each day as it comes. Very soon you will be back in form, and yes, you need to be strong for Tony’s family too. :)

I know no words can really comfort what you are undergoing, but perhaps knowing that we all are with you in your loss may help in some way.

Take care and be brave. Prayer’s are always with you and his family. :)

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34 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 1:10 PM

Well I’m feeling the hug Harleena so thank you for that.

Your Mom sounds like a very brave woman. Tony was the same all the way till the end. I got to spend some quality time with him a few weeks before he passed. Always had that big old smile on his face trying to make everyone else feel right at home. Be believed in that miracle coming his way all the way till the end.

I do know that he is with us now watching over us just like my Dad is and my dog Blake. I talk to them all the time to be honest with you I just wish they could talk back. That’s what I miss the most. The conversations I use to have with my Dad.. His physical presence. Being able to hug Blake and he licks my face. That’s what I miss the most.

Ah so you cry often too. It’s so good to know I’m not the only one. It’s embarrassing at times you know. I just can’t help it, they just flow whether I want them to or not.

Thank you so much for your kind words Harleena, they mean the world to me. Things will get better with time, I know they will. I just wish it would hurry up, that’s all.

I appreciate your prayers, thank you so much. You take care and stay blessed.

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35 Harleena Singh
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 10:07 PM

Very few people are as brave as Tony and my mom, who really make others feel better and never loose faith. In fact she believed everything will be alright and had smile on her face right till the end.

But yes, we miss the physical presence, the talks, the hugs, just being together of the ones we loose – that has truly no replacements. However, I am glad we have those treasured memories with us that we learn to value so much, and this in itself teaches us to reach out and pay more attention to the ones we have left with us- value them more, because you never know if they will be there tomorrow or not.

Yes, it sure is embarrassing, and so often I am checked by my husband when I start howling when any normal person won’t! I guess tears are never in our hands, and the smallest of emotional stir can cause them to flow.

Take care of yourself and give things time, all will be well soon. And we are all there with you – always. :)

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36 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 10:15 AM

Thanks for sharing that Harleena! Means a lot!

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37 Lisa
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:11 PM

Adrienne,
I am so sorry for your loss. It looks like you have taken that first step by writing about it. It will take time so just give yourself that time to grieve. It is never easy. Sending you prayers and to the family too.

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38 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 1:12 PM

Thank you Lisa, I really appreciate that. Writing about it and talking with everyone in the comments is helping. It will get better, I know it will.

I appreciate your prayers, thank you so very much. You’re the best Lisa! ♥

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39 Oliver Tausend
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 11:13 AM

Dear Adrienne,

my condolences to you for the loss of your dear friend. I understand that it never gets easy an it honours you that you allowed yourself to slow downn and that you aren’t beating yourself up, that you allowed yourself to be “weak”.

People, we are not going to live forever. Some people spend their lives though as if they lived forever.

Thanks for opening up and sharing this story.

Be blessed

Oliver

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40 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:38 PM

Hi Oliver,

Thank you for that, it means a lot. I use to beat myself up, thinking that I had to get through things anyway. As I’ve learned over the years, I’m not doing myself any good. I have feelings too and I have to work through those. I’m not good to anyone just existing. I certainly don’t want to do any injustice to what I’m trying to achieve here online. I want everyone to know that I’m human just like everyone else and I’m not perfect. I have my faults and my weaknesses. But I am a survivor and I will get through this too. It just hit me a lot harder than I anticipated.

People don’t live forever Oliver so I do hope that some people will realize that and enjoy the people they have now in their lives. I know I never have any regrets and I always tell those that mean the most to me how I feel. Always!

I appreciate you Oliver, thank you so much for all your kind words.

~Adrienne

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41 Julie
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:34 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Sorry for the loss of your friend and to his dear family. Your father was so right about you though – he certainly knew his daughter well.

When my kids were little, they always wanted me to ‘promise’ them to take them here, do this or that. I never did. Promise that is, we done all the things, but I could never be sure to carry a promise through. If they wanted to go to the zoo for example, someone might get sick, it may rain etc … Plan yes, but as you say, life gets in the way sometimes and we need to put things on hold or go another way.

Anyway, thanks for sharing, you take it easy now Adrienne, thoughts are with you.

Oh, and I voted for Annie – twice actually. I saw her name and then noticed on her blog the badge asking to look for ‘Practical Adventure-ology’, so I did and voted there as well. I forgot to leave a comment but saw her video and thought it was just great.

Take Care
Julie

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42 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 1:18 PM

Hi Julie,

Ah, that was so sweet of you. My Dad did know me very well.

You are one very smart young lady Julie! I do my very best to not make promises I’m not sure I can keep. I’m an action taker so I hate saying I’ll do something and then not follow through. But you are right, life gets in the way sometimes so even with the best intentions, things don’t always pan out like we had hoped.

Thank you for voting for Annie and glad you checked out her video. She really appreciates the support and so do I.

Take care Julie!

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43 Barry Wells
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 12:34 PM

Hi Adrienne,

You’ve been in my thoughts since I heard of Tony’s passing. Knowing that your dad suffered from cancer as well I thought that Tony’s passing would stir old emotions, as it does mine when I lose someone.

When you first mentioned Tony’s sad news I had just lost my friend Nikki (42) to cancer so Tony’s situation was fresh in my mind and my emotions. We lost my mother-in-law (56) a few years ago to cancer and with every friend we lose to this wicked disease our emotions are stirred up again.

I don’t think we ever get over these emotions Adrienne, we put on a brave face and continue as best we can but when we lose another friend to it, they all come flooding back.

I try my hardest not to even mention the word in front of my wife as her pain is so intense so I truly understand what you’re going through.

As others have said Adrienne, when the tears want to flow let them do so and let it all out. Don’t hold anything back and when it comes to work…… well that can wait until you’re good and ready. We’ll all still be here Adrienne, your blog is full of REAL friendship, just look at the support from your readers, we all love, respect and admire you Adrienne ;)

I wish I could ease your pain my friend, I really do. As I said you’ve been in my thoughts since I heard the sad news.

Take good care and please don’t worry about work.

Respect, Regards and Admiration

Barry

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44 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 1:28 PM

Hi Barry,

Thank you Barry, I really appreciate that. I must admit, I get really pissed off when cancer is the reason for a loss of a friend or family member. It doesn’t sit well with me. I have another friend fighting it as we speak and he got good news last week. I was really sweating that one out.

Wow Barry, I’m so sorry about Nikki. 42 is really young and it ought to be against the darn law. I just don’t understand. I continue to pray everyday for my health because at the age of 35 I was told I have a 50/50 chance of getting it since both my parents have fought cancer. Yep, my Mom had breast cancer at the age of 65 and had one breast removed. Since then she’s had skin cancer three more times so I’m blessed to still have her in my life.

My problem Barry is the anger. I get really angry not at God, but at the injustice of so many wonderful people being strapped with a disease and literally put through hell. I hear of fathers shooting their entire families because they’re pissed off and then you have these people who are so loved and needed and they are given this death sentence. I know life isn’t fair, I know we all will die someday but it just really makes me so mad when it’s such good people.

My heart goes out to your wife as well Barry. These types of losses remain so fresh in our minds. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to mention anything around her.

I really appreciate your kind words Barry and your ongoing support. I really do feel loved and supported which is why I appreciate everyone so very much. It’s times like this that we all need to just reach out to one another. Just the thoughts and prayers are helpful.

Thank you again Barry, I know you must be sick of me saying that all the time but I can’t help myself. It really means the world to me. Your support and friendship I’m honored to have. As I say way too often, I am truly blessed. I just wish everyone else could be as well. ♥

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45 igor Griffiths
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 3:20 PM

Well hello Adrienne, so sorry to return on such bad news.

Never feel pressurised to live your life at someone else’s pace, take all the time you need to let the beauty of Tony’s life shine through and soften the blow of his passing.

My thoughts are with you and everyone who has lost a someone dear to them through the injustice of cancers random nature.

igor Griffiths

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46 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 3:43 PM

Thank you Igor and I’m so very sorry you had to return to this particular post.

I appreciate your supportive and kind words though. Truly, they mean so much.

Thank you Igor! ♥

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47 Janet Callaway
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 2:49 PM

Adrienne, aloha. Life gets in the way. Life is meant for living. Life is not a schedule.

We can make plans, develop a plan and then they are altered by something that matters more.

Carla and her family matter far more than any 3-way calls, e-mails or posts. Your long time friendship is the support you each need. To be able to be there for a friend in such a time is what matters.

Adrienne, as I am sure you have noticed, I have not been myself since December. Last week I was thinking “it’s been 4 months, Janet. Get over it and get on with it.” Ironically, Adrienne, I find I was better shortly after than I am now.

No apologies necessary, my friend. You, Carla and the family need each other. Your post will no doubt help many of your readers.

Sending you hugs, my friend. Aloha. Janet

P.S. Went over and voted for Annie’s blog. Looks like we better roundup some more votes for her.

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48 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 3:39 PM

Hi Janet,

My heart goes out to you Janet because I know losing a parent hits us a lot harder. I know it did for me with my Dad.

I had a friend call me a few minutes ago who does healing and she made me realize that I’m holding on to some buried emotions still related to my Dad’s passing. I’m more angry over losing Tony because I know it could have been prevented. At least I’m now aware why I can’t let these feelings go and why they are still so very fresh. She gave me something to help me so I’m really hoping that as the week progresses, I’ll release some of this anger. I’m so tired of feeling this way.

That’s what my best friend just said too. It’s not that easy to just “get over it” and he reminded me that if he ever passes and I’m “over it” in just 7 days that he’ll haunt me forever. You know he’s right. There is no set time to “get over” the ones we love the most. I think some of my problem has been the way they have passed which was senseless and unnecessary. I know I can’t control what happens to people but we are the ones left behind to deal with it. Up to this point, I haven’t been dealing with it very well.

I hope you find comfort Janet and I’ve often wondered how you are doing after losing your Mom. I know you were happy to have spent that week with her but sometimes it makes it harder. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.

I’m sending you hugs right back.. Know that I’m thinking of you too!

Thank you for voting for Annie, it’s greatly appreciated.

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49 Jens P. Berget
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 4:33 PM

Hi Adrienne,

I read about your loss on Facebook, and it’s so sad. I still haven’t lost that many close friends or family members yet, even though I’ve been through some of the sorrows. I understand how it feels, and no matter how many times you experience it, it will never get any easier.

I love what you said at the end, that we need to let people know how much we care, and never think about delaying anything. We never know what will happen, and we should never delay caring and saying I love you to people we truly care about.

Awesome advice my friend. Thanks a lot for sharing your personal thoughts.

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50 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 5:34 PM

Hey Jens,

Thank you for your kind words on Facebook too, I appreciate that.

You are very fortunate to not have lost that many close friends or family members Jens. It’s a horrible thing to go through.

I hope everyone will take my advice and just realize that life is too short so enjoy it while you’re here and always tell those close to you how much they mean to you. I’ve lost way too many friends in car accidents so we just never know when it will be our time.

Thanks Jens!

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51 Diane Aksten
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 4:34 PM

Adrienne: So, so sorry for your loss; it sounds like Tony was a very special person in your life.

I totally agree that it’s OK for you to take the time to grieve; it’s not only OK but it’s a necessary part of life. It’s also OK to admit that you’re less than 100% right now; as women, I think we feel that we always have to be “up” even when we don’t feel like it and we have to just plow through without admitting that we just don’t feel like it!!

Thank you for sharing your pain and struggle with your readers and know that we are here for you!!

Diane

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52 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 5:36 PM

Thank you Diane and he most certainly was!

You are right Diane, I always put on my happy face and trudge right on through it all. Some times are easier than others but this one hasn’t been easy at all. I’m not 100%, it hurts like hell so I’m admitting it.

I appreciate that Diane and thank you for your kind words. They truly mean a lot.

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53 Mayura
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 5:01 PM

I’m so sorry for your loss Adrienne. Honestly, I can’t imagine how you feel ’cause I’m still lucky to be with my loved ones. But I just feel how’d it be if I miss someone close to me. Life is unpredictable. We plan our lives without knowing deadlines and it’s never too easy. Best way is adopt with changes and face the truth. All friends do comment here wanna share your sadness and they always around you to see “Adrienne Smith” with a gorgeous smile. We can’t keep away all sorrows from you but we always with you.

I believe you are a strong one as your dad used to say. Stay stronger :) And you will be.

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54 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 5:38 PM

I am very happy to hear that you’ve not lost anyone close to you Mayura. It’s a horrible thing to go through and the pain is difficult to deal with at times. I do hope you always tell them how much they mean to you whenever you see them. Don’t let those words go unspoken because sometimes we never get that chance to tell them.

Thank you for your kind words. They mean a lot. I’ll do my best to stay strong too!

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55 Mayura
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 6:23 PM

Sure Adrienne :) I will. I don’t wanna let them go unspoken. Never.

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56 Linda April 23, 2012 at 5:57 PM

I am happy you opened up about how you have been feeling Adrienne. I knew everyone would understand and has most likely lost a loved one or two in the past and those that haven’t can be there to support you in their own special way.

I have lost way too many people at my age and my son is only 16 and has lost a lot of the same and I think the hardest one for us all was our wonderful friend whom we all knew since we were young (no matter what age we met him) this past November. The hurt is still there for all of us and it’s not an easy thing to just brush off – you can’t and why should you!!

I never used to be as emotional as I am – but like you said, losing someone close can change the way your body reacts to certain things. I cry all the time – sad or joy! I watch things on tv and most people probably wouldn’t shed a tear, but I do – it’s not something you should be ashamed of in any way. It’s just you and who you are!! Be proud of that, Adrienne!

Really happy you got out how you felt and I am still praying for you and Tony’s family.

Take care of yourself and everyone will understand and accept you back into their challenge’s whenever you are ready – please do not stress or apologize over not being yourself.

Talk to you soon!
Linda

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57 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 6:43 PM

Hey Linda,

Thanks and I appreciate that. I think what I had to share, most people can relate to in some way.

You sound like me, lot of loss in my short life. Not a fun experience at all. I use to do the “why not me” thing but soon just came to understand that I should just be darn blessed I’m healthy and I have what I do. I know way too many people who don’t have half of what I do.

Sorry for your recent loss too Linda, I know how hard it can be at times. I had a friend help me today, she’s a healer and a physic. She was able to hone in some of what I’m feeling, you know those unconscious feelings we don’t realize are still there. It really helped me a lot so I now have a plan to move forward. We are both praying that it will help. Just getting it out verbally today really helped.

I guess we are just both cry babies now aren’t we. Compared to how I use to be, I guess I’m making up for all those times I just held it all in.

Thank you for all your support Linda and for being there for me. All your kind words you’ve shared with me throughout this past week have really been helpful. It’s nice to talk to someone who understands.

We will talk soon, thanks!

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58 Morris
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 5:46 PM

God gave us sadness so we can better enjoy happiness. No matter how long you have to prepare it is never an easy experience. We want to say we can do something about delaying death, like eating better, exercising more, etc. But God reminds us we can’t.
Like you, I have been reflecting on my recent loss. And life moves on. Bless Tony and may he be in your heart forever.

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59 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 5:55 PM

You are so right Morris and I know you’re dealing with your own right now. I appreciate the moments you’ve shared with me though and we both had high hopes didn’t we? May they both rest in peace and I know that Tony will always be in my heart.

Thank you Morris.

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60 Lisa Magoulas
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 6:56 PM

Oh Adrienne, I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to lose a loved one. And you’re right, it doesn’t ever get any easier. Just know you are a wonderful, strong, caring person. There are a lot of people out here sending you lots of prayers and giant hugs.

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61 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:17 PM

Hey Lisa,

Sorry I haven’t been by lately or sent you an email to check on you. Well, now you know why! :-(

Glad you are enjoying Hank, love him all up okay! Kayla has really helped me through my crying spells. She’s probably getting ready for me to be over this and frankly, so am I.

I appreciate your sweet words, thank you so much. That means the world to me. ♥

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62 Sergio Felix
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 7:00 PM

Hey Adrienne,

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I haven’t lost many close people but I did lost grandma not long ago. It was a really hard shock particularly because I had plans to visit her the actual day she fell ill and passed away the following day.

I got to hold her hand at the hospital but she didn’t respond anymore, I couldn’t pronounce a single word while I was there and I wept like a baby all day long.

Don’t be too hard on you, it’s okay to take our time to just sit for a moment and think about what is happening around us.

God bless Adrienne and hope you can recover from Tony’s passing soon, hugs from Mexico.

Sergio

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63 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:20 PM

Hey Sergio,

Oh Sergio, I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I wish I could say I don’t know how that feels but I lost all of mine many years ago. I know what you mean, I think with grandparents we think they’ll last forever. I certainly thought that about mine. I did get to look back and think of all the good times though. It hurts like hell though doesn’t it! I know exactly how you felt.

I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. Unfortunately I need to get some work done but it’s been pretty hard to concentrate for any length of time. I think I had a breakthrough today so I’m looking on the bright side. Keeping my fingers crossed for sure.

Thanks Sergio, you’re a real doll. ♥

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64 Barry Overstreet
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 7:18 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Wow, what a post!! I’m so sorry for your loss. That type of pain never gets easy to deal with. We can only hope to get better at coping with the pain we feel. I lost my father-in-law to cancer almost 3 years ago, so I know firsthand the kind of havoc that disease can wreak.

You said something in your response to Barry earlier that stood out to me. You said you were angry, not at God, but at the unfairness of it all. I understand your feelings as the pain can be overwhelming sometimes.

But, try not to be angry. Everything we experience in life serves a purpose. Often, we don’t know what that purpose is for many years, if ever, but it still serves His purpose. Many times that’s not very comforting, but it’s something to hold onto.

As for the unfairness of cancer, I agree is a nasty, unforgiving disease to face. But, some of the most inspirational stories I’ve ever heard have involved people who have fought cancer. Even those who eventually lost their battle have provided great witness and testimony throughout their battle.

Everything else aside, remember that you have many, many friends here who care a lot about you. We will do whatever we can to help you through this time of pain and grief. Take whatever time you need, we’ll still be here waiting just for you!

You’ll be in my prayers.

God Bless,
Barry

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65 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 8:29 PM

Hi Barry,

Sorry you had to make it back by on this particular posts.

As the years go by I seem to get worse at coping with loss. At least when it come to people I love dearly. I’m so sorry about your father-in-law Barry. I can honestly say that cancer is definitely the one thing I hate more than anything in this world.

Yep, I’m pretty angry right now Barry. There really is more to this then I’ve shared and holding on to this anger is not doing me any good at all. The same thing happened when I lost my Dad and I think it just brought everything back up. I had a friend help me just today realize the two were connected. I think that’s why I’m having a difficult time getting through this.

I know life isn’t fair and neither is death. I don’t understand at times why so many wonderful people are taken from us early on. I’m sure God has other plans, I just wish I knew what the heck they were. Maybe I could accept this a little better. I won’t make any promises but it sure would help.

My Dad was an inspirational story Barry. He lived for over 42 years fighting cancer and almost died three different times. He lived to be 80 years old and had been given a death sentence probably 15 years earlier. I know cancer doesn’t always have to be fatal yet for a lot of people it is.

Thank you for that Barry, I am truly blessed with so many wonderful friends and family members that have been there to help me through this. Grief is never enjoyable and it does take time to deal with I’m afraid.

I appreciate your prayers Barry, honestly. That means the world to me, thank you so much. ♥

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66 Sue Price
Twitter:
April 23, 2012 at 9:52 PM

Hi Adrienne
You and I have already chatted about Tony passing so I will not say more than I have to you already. Only to add it was wonderful to read your post and honesty here. It is not easy to be vulnerable.
I had one smile though at you saying since your Dad passed you cry at anything. I have always done that!
Just reading some of the comments here now are very moving.
Take care of you and take your time.

Sue

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67 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 10:13 AM

Hi Sue,

Thank you Sue and you’ve been very supportive. I appreciate that!

Yeah, I’m a real sap so I know what you mean. Whenever I read something very moving I start bawling. Pretty sad actually but I guess that’s just the way it is.

I’ll get there though, yesterday was just a very rough day. I do feel a lot better today though. Imagine that! :-)

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68 Latha April 24, 2012 at 12:35 AM

Adrienne,
Lots of love and lots of hugs. Whatever I write here will not help you overcome the loss. I will keep you in my prayers and am with you.
Lots and lots of love
Latha

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69 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 10:16 AM

Thank you Lenia and I know what you mean. Words really don’t help much at times like this but just knowing you’re there and you care is enough. I really do appreciate that so thank you so very much. ♥

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70 Paul Brinkman April 24, 2012 at 4:40 AM

Thank you, Adrienne, for this refreshingly touching, inspirational post. I too have lost people in my life that leave a tender mark; people that, in a healthy way, simply cannot be left behind. Your article helps remind us that although much of what we read and share online is about from the head, life is really about the heart.

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71 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 10:19 AM

Hi Paul,

I appreciate your kind words. Sorry you stopped by my blog and landed on this one. I am definitely having my moment. I’m praying it doesn’t last too terribly much longer.. I’m working through it though. You are definitely right, losing those we love does leave a tender mark.

Thank you for your comment.

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72 CarolB
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 5:10 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer is such a horrible disease, and like you, I have been surrounded by it since a young age. My own son battled it when he was just 4.5 years – thankfully he is a survivor, though others in my life have not been. There are good days – mostly – but there are sad days when I think about the others, especially on special days. I mourn from time to time the life that was “stolen” from my young child as it has left him – now 13 – with “battle scars”. But in the end, I do pick myself up and keep going. If nothing else, these battles have taught me that life can be short, and one needs to enjoy it. And to not dwell on those little things as much. Though I still do from time to time. I applaud you in your strength to pick yourself up and write this post. It must have been one of the most difficult things for you to do.

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73 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 10:25 AM

Hi Carol,

I’m so sorry your son had to battle cancer too. When we would go with my Dad to MD Anderson for his doctor’s appointments we would sit out in the lobby and watch all the children walking around with no hair on their heads pulling their IV’s. They still had smiles on their faces because they were kids. It broke me and my Mom’s hearts though knowing that these innocent kids were being touched by this horrible disease too. Cancer just doesn’t care.

I wish I could only count on two hands all the people I have known that lost their lives to cancer but it goes way beyond that. I hate it, truly hate it but I know that it’s out of our control. We just have to accept what is and learn to live with it. I guess right now the learning to live with it stage is what I’m having another hard time with. Maybe it is because I’ve become so sensitive to life around me more. Oh heck, I don’t know but what I do know is I just don’t like it at all.

Thank you for sharing that with me and I wish you and your son the very best. Hey, he made it to the other side. He’s truly blessed.

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74 CarolB
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 10:25 AM

I understand how you feel. My family has been a “hot-bed” of cancer for as long as I can remember – so much so we should be a case study! Right now, it’s my adult niece who’s battling the ugly beast. And you are so right, that ugly beast just doesn’t care. Learning to live with it – guess we don’t have a choice but, like you, I hate it with a passion. Especially when I watch kids go through it! I have to say, though, sitting day after day with these young kids fighting the beast, taught me more than any school could have ever taught me.

Thank you for your kind words about my son – he is a blessing in our lives! Hoping your pain eases over time – though I honestly don’t know if it ever truly goes away, huh.

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75 Ruth Zive
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 12:29 PM

First of all – you get a big fat smiley face for your honesty and candour. We have all been touched by cancer. My two beloved step daughters lost their mom to cancer when they were only 6 and 8 years old. I met them a year later, and I think about their mother and their loss each and every day.

Second of all, I think that it is important that when we encounter unexpected setbacks and tragedy that we take time to regroup, emote and decompress. There is a healing process that needs to take place. However, I also believe (and I know you do too) that life is very much about using the challenges that we encounter as an opportunity for growth. So draw on the things you learned from your dear friend. Internalize those lessons. Hold his memory dear – and emerge stronger, more grateful and keener than ever to leave a lasting legacy of your own.

I know you will do all that and more, my friend.

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76 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Thanks Ruth because that would be the only way I’d get a smiley face this past week.

Those poor kids but at least you came into their lives and have helped them move forward. I know that the boys have three uncles and two aunts that will be there for them along with all the rest of us. It’s not the same, I know, but they will be very loved.

I appreciate your comment Ruth, thanks so much for that. And just yesterday I did learn something from this experience. I learned why it’s been so hard on me so now I have to go back to the drawing board and work through that once again. But I do feel better today. Much better actually. Not quite there yet but I’m on my way.

You’re a sweetheart, thanks!

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77 Annie Andre
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 3:20 PM

Adrienne,

Thank you so much for all you have done especially during this tough time. I can’t tell you what an inspiration you are to me and have been. Especially in times like these when you are hurting and feeling such sadness and you are still able to give back to others. It’s truly an amazing quality which to be honest is really hard to come by. I try my hardest to be like this and fail miserable.

I wish i were there in your city cause i would come over with some treats for kayla and bucket of ice cream and a movie that made us cry and laugh at the same time….
xoxoxo hugs kisses and sending you strength through the internet cables..

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78 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 4:07 PM

Ah thank you Annie… You actually saved me to be honest with you because I love helping anyway and you gave me something to look forward to writing about. Had it not been for you, I would have missed my post entirely.

You do not fail in this area either, are you kidding me! You have such a big heart and are so giving. I so admire that about you.

I do wish you lived closer because that sounds like just what the doctor ordered. That would have really helped this past weekend. But I am feeling a little better today. Thank goodness.

Thank you sweetheart, I really appreciate you! You’re the best!

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79 Cathy
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 5:28 PM

Hi Adrienne,

I’m so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to let someone go from our lives that we care about. I’m glad you shared your story, because it reminds us all that we are human beings behind these screens and have issues in our life just like everyone else does. Big hugs to you and I hope that time will soften the pain.

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80 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 6:35 PM

Hi Cathy,

Thank you, I really appreciate that. It was a very long week last week ending with a beautiful service. Lots of wonderful memories and many tears shed over the loss of someone way before their time. It never gets easier I’m afraid.

You are right, we’re all just human and life is happening behind this computer screen. Most of the time it’s fabulous but then we have times like this. Hopefully not as many but unfortunately, it just happens.

Thank you for your wonderful kind words. They are greatly appreciated, especially at a time like this. ♥

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81 Colleen Kelly
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 9:57 PM

(((Adrienne )))

(((Adrienne)))
I’m truly with all my heart sorry to hear this. It is harder when you know so much life was left to be lived and left behind are those who truly need that person. Each life is so precious. Each one touches so many. I remember you mentioning your friend on Facebook a while ago. It’s funny. thousands of years and the best we have come up with is “I’m sorry” I am. Please don’t be concerned with missing a post or not being perfect about comments. Adrienne, do you realize how amazing it is you DO go to so many blogs and actually read them and leave a comment?! You have been such a source of inspiration, support and I consider you a friend. I really do. So as that I am going to get bossy! (a little) Please take care of that heart. If I can do anything, let me know please.. You know my story. I understand losing an achor in your life. I would hug ya if I could ;) Really. If I can do anything. I do tell very corny bad jokes.. :) try me ;)

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82 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Hey Colleen,

Thank you so very much, I really do appreciate it.

I know what you mean with only being able to say “I’m sorry”. I remember when people would tell me that after losing my Dad and it didn’t help. But I also know that there are no words anyone can say to make matters better. It is what it is and we all just have to learn to live without the ones we love.

You of all people know exactly what that’s like as well. So I appreciate your loving words, they do mean a lot.

I’m actually doing much better today. I had a friend help me on Monday and I was holding on to some unresolved emotions that were attached to my Dad’s passing. The senselessness of it all. Not that I’m okay with Tony leaving us so soon but I understand now why I’ve been so damn angry about it all. Oh yeah, I’m still a work in progress.

Thanks for that virtual hug! I appreciate that so much. You take care okay! :-)

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83 Craig McBreen
Twitter:
April 24, 2012 at 11:21 PM

So sorry for your loss, Adrienne.

No matter how tough we think we are, life can often feel like a wrench to the side of the head. Uncaring and cruel. You’re cruising along and then something like this hits you. So harsh, but something we all have to deal with.

Cancer has affected my family so deeply, but I now appreciate life and loved ones more than ever. The older you get the more you realize how fleeting life can be, it is a flash, really. You never know when sickness or anything else life has to throw at you will come, so it’s best to make time for things that are really important now.

But you’re right, this never gets easier.

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84 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 10:39 AM

Thank you Craig, I appreciate that!

You are SO right about that Craig. We’ve moving through life, things are going well, we’re happy, we’re healthy and then this strikes someone close to us that we love deeply. That’s when the questions start creeping in like why him and not me? Why does this happen to good people who have a family and kids that need them? Why? Sometimes I have a hard time with that part of things.

I’m so sorry that your family has also be plagued by cancer. The sad thing is Craig that a lot of people have to be hit upside the head by something like this happening to them before they start appreciating their loved ones more and being blessed about the life that they do have. I hate that too. But I guess since I’ve lived with it my entire life I grew up appreciating life because it was a daily thing in our household with my Dad having cancer as well.

As long as people get this message I guess that’s all that really matters. I’m glad that you appreciate life and those around you. You know Craig, we are so very blessed. ;-)

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85 Ralph April 25, 2012 at 6:04 AM

Adrienne,

Hey it’s ok to take 5, girl. Sheesh. My sympathies to you and your friend’s family. Sincerely. See how great you are? It’s funny but your personality comes through in your writing and I have no doubt you are just a firecracker. So, rest up, reflect and grieve. It’s ok. I am quite confident that your friends, readers and followers aren’t going anywhere.

Loved Annie’s vid and thanks for the push to vote. Last count she’s at 98 likes.

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86 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 10:44 AM

Hi Ralph,

I know but it’s hard to slow down. I feel obligated to not let my blogging buddies down. Plus they help keep me motivated but I must admit, this passing hit me really hard. It was extremely hard to concentrate and I would start crying out of nowhere and just lose it. I hate feeling like this but it’s understandable. I appreciate your oh so kind words. You definitely made me smile here Ralph.

Thank you for voting for Annie, we definitely appreciate your support. We’re slowly moving her up the ranks. I’ve found that it won’t let me vote more than once or I’d have her way over the 100 mark by now darn it.
;-)

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87 Kirsten Lodge
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 10:31 AM

Dear Adrienne

I just had to write to you after going completely AWOL. I’m so very sorry to hear that you have lost someone special. In tough times we are so often reminded to live our dreams, be the best we can be and treasure those around us. Thank you for that reminder.

Life does get in the way sometimes – for good reasons or otherwise. And it’s actually fine. Writing is meant to be fulfilling and can be cathartic. It has certainly got in the way of my goals recently. I have been stressing about that – not fulfilling my goal of blogging every week (it’s been over a month now). But what’s the point?! Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

I’m glad you did post this, Adrienne. I so hope you find peace soon. In the meantime, I am thinking of you.

(((( hugs )))

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88 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 10:53 AM

Hey Kirsten,

Where have you been girl? I’ve missed you… Sure hope everything is okay with you.

Yeah, I was really hoping that all around 2012 was going to be a fabulous year. Now career wise for me it is. Personally though, this crap has to happen. This was NOT what I had planned for this year you can darn sure believe that. I just knew that God was going to pull one of his fabulous miracles out for Tony. I mean if anyone is deserving of it it’s him. So when that didn’t happen it’s like someone hit me upside the head with a two by four. I didn’t see it coming, honestly. Guess that’s why I took it really hard.

I’m with you on that one Kirsten. Don’t sweat the small stuff because in the scheme of things, it’s just so not important. Always tell those in your life how much they mean to you. I’ve lost so many people to freak accidents so we just never know when it’s our time. So annoy the hell out of them with tons of love. Should any of your friends and family leave this world unexpectedly, they’ll definitely know how you felt about them. Tony sure did!!!

Thanks Kirsten and can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to lately. Thanks for the hugs

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89 Kirsten Lodge
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 11:54 AM

Hi Adrienne

Life is so darn unfair sometimes. I don’t understand why some people make it through and some don’t. And when it is unexpected it is just difficult to deal with. I understand that. Lucky for him he had you as his wonderful friend. I hope you get your strength back really soon.

Everything is fine. Great actually. I’m currently travelling and have met a man! So it has been good things that have gotten in the way of my writing. :) Thanks for asking and caring, Adrienne.

As they say in my homeland, ‘Kia Kaha’ ~ forever strong.
x

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90 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 12:10 PM

You are right Kirsten, life is unfair and I think that was part of my anger as well over this. Not that I wish anyone any ill harm but there are some people who are eager to leave this world so why take the good ones first? I know, I’m being selfish again but I just can’t help it. Not when it comes to the people I love most. I’m slowly getting my strength back so thank you for that.

OMG you met a man and you’re traveling again. Girl, I bet you’re on cloud 1000!!! Congratulations and you are most definitely excused. Just so happy you popped in today and gave me a shout. Unfortunately, I wish it could have been on a much better topic but it’s always good to see you. You just have fun okay! I’m so happy for you. :-)

Thank you so much Kirsten, I really appreciate you!

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91 Praveen Rajarao
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 12:00 PM

Adrienne – I am very bad at expressing grief and condolences, so I will just not say anything at all. I read all those comments from your dear friends and I am sure they have said enough to keep you moving and accepting life as it comes.

May God give you more strength each day to make that smile on your face even more radiant.

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92 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 12:11 PM

Thank you Praveen and you are most definitely excused. I learned after my Dad passed away that there really are no words anyone can say to make us feel better. Just knowing that you care is more than enough. Not that you can do anything mind you but it’s just nice to know that I’m not dealing with this all by myself. I just appreciate your kind words and your friendship means the world to me. Thank you so much for your comment.

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93 Simon April 25, 2012 at 12:15 PM

I feel so lucky that as yet in life I haven’t had to deal with anything as tragic. Those I lost were way back in my childhood when things didn’t matter as much.

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94 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 12:18 PM

I do hope Simon that you always tell those that are in your life how much they mean to you. Never let any words go unspoken. I don’t want you to learn this lesson after something tragic does happen. You are truly blessed.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

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95 Donna Merrill
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 12:24 PM

Adrienne,
The grieving process takes time and we have to give ourselves the time to do it. Sometimes we need to push the “pause” button on our daily lives because of that. It is wonderful that you have an opportunity to share this with your community of followers. That is being a true teacher and leader.

When we experience something, and share it, there is no better lesson. When my husband and I were taking care of my father-in-law with hospice at home, it was 7 months of 24 hour care-taking. At the time, I had to back off of a lot of business, and struggled through to get one little task done. So did my husband. When he passed, life stopped completely for a few weeks. We had to take the grieving process head on. We also were responsible for his estate which is a novella I could write about.

So what does the entrepreneur do when life hits us hard? We go with it and heal our emotions. Pushing it will only break us down in the long run. So take some time, do less, and all your followers (like me) will understand and are grateful you are in our lives.

Thank you for sharing this and God Bless,
Donna

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96 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 25, 2012 at 12:58 PM

Hi Donna,

I almost called you Donna because I really needed some assistance in the physic area but luckily, I have another friend that does what you do as well and she sensed through our emails that I needed some help. She called me Monday and shared some things with me that really did help with me moving forward with this process. This is when your gift really does come in handy.

Wow, seven months of hospice care. My Dad only had four days and that was hard enough. One of us was with him 24/7 and I had to stay on the nurses every hour to get him his medication on time. We took turns spending the night with him as well. Those four days were rough plus my Mom and I took care of him for five days at home before he ever made it to the hospital. I can’t imagine what you and your husband had to deal with. It’s draining yet you really want to be there for them. That’s a hard thing to experience.

You are so right, I tried pushing it and then was embarrassed looking back because I wasn’t giving my all to the comments or helping people in the area that I normally do. My heart was hurting so much so I couldn’t put all my emotions into my work. I should have just taken that time to myself but it’s another lesson learned. I thought that by working would help me get my mind off of it but it didn’t help much.

Thank you Donna for your oh so kind words. They truly mean the world to me. Thank you so very much!

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97 Cris April 26, 2012 at 2:07 AM

Adrienne,
Boy does this post resonate with me. Life throwing curve balls and discovering our mitt is missing. Ouch! So sorry to hear of your loss. Expected, or not, we struggle with the why’s and grapple with our footing to move forward with some odd sense of duty that the status quo shouldn’t be altered. Well, when life around us changes, so do we. Stopping for the pause is ok. And necessary.
I’ve had several family members say to me I “am the glue.” yeah, well, that may be my nature…by default, but sure tough to live up too ALL THE TIME! And it took me awhile to let that label go every now and then. Again, necessary.
A big wrapping of peace and comfort to you.

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98 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 8:30 AM

Hi Cris,

Sorry that this one resonates with you but maybe you’re like me and am always just taking everything on head first. I hate to admit that I “need” time to myself that I “need” time to regroup or even grieve. Even when you are given news that there is nothing more they can do, it’s never easy to accept because that person has such a big presence in our everyday lives. Someone with such a huge heart, loving spirit and big personality. The world is not a better place without them in it, we just have to learn to live with it that way now. This has NOT been fun at all Cris.

I appreciate your comment and sharing that with me. It really does help to know that we don’t have to go through times like this all alone.

Thank you for your kind words or comfort and here is wrapping my big old arms around you too! ♥

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99 Dan Sumner
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 7:41 AM

Hey Adrienne,

Hope you are doing better.

It’s not nice when we hit those low periods of our lives when we lose our friends or family members who are close to us. I lost a friend this year and it is hard to come to terms with.

I hate to say life goes on, but it does and we just have to pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. I like to tackle life head on and try not dwell on thing too much.

I keep it in my head that I will see my loved ones again some day. Although they are gone they are not forgotten.

Do something to cheer yourself up Adrienne you deserve it :-D

Dan

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100 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 8:43 AM

Hey Dan,

I am doing much better, thank you. Time and friends sure does help.

I’m so sorry you lost a good friend too Dan. There is no nice way to put it but it just sucks. My problem is that I’m extremely selfish because although I know they are in a better place and we have to continue our lives without them, I’ll never get to hug them again or have a conversation with them where they reply to me you know. I miss their presence, their personality, their smile and memories do’t always cut it. With time you get use to them being gone but it’s never a fun experience learning to live without them. I’m getting there though.

I haven’t done anything to cheer myself up yet but I have had several days of doing absolutely nothing. I was just so down I couldn’t get into doing anything. Maybe this weekend I’ll do something fun. I’m ready now.

Thank you Dan, I appreciate your comment and hope you’re doing well too! Life does go on… :-)

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101 Tanya McTavish April 26, 2012 at 8:19 AM

Adrienne, i’m so sorry to hear about Tony.
Hugs, Tanya

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102 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 8:43 AM

Thank you Tanya, I appreciate that!

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103 Joe Lampo April 26, 2012 at 8:37 AM

Hello, Adrienne, and my deepest condolences to you for your loss. I know exactly how you feel as I have been there many times. All the family members with whom I grew up: my mom and day, closest aunts and uncles, my first and oldest cousin, and my late wife, who passed on only 2 years after our marriage. While she was under medical care, she advised me to remarry because we had it so good. I did remarry and ended up adopting 5 children. I well know the emptiness one feels in the wake of losing loved ones.

Don’t worry about the mundane aspects of life and living; take your time to grieve because it is cathartic. Holding it in is not good, but to let it out empowers us to carry on as we recover and come to understand that God closes one door and opens another, as my late wife told me, and it is true, very true.

When we meet our loved ones when our time comes, we will reflect on having grieved and be thankful that we did, knowing that our loved ones saw that we indeed loved them while they were present with us, showereing us with their love.

My best to you and God bless and watch over you, too.

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104 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 9:01 AM

Hey Joe,

I’m so sorry you’ve had so much loss in your life. I wish I could say I don’t know what you mean but unfortunately, I definitely do.

This is why I tell people all the time to feel grateful for the life they have because it can be taken from you at any given time. So can the people that you love so dearly so never let any words go unspoken. Tony knew exactly how I felt about him and that I did everything in my power to help him. We had a great visit a little over two weeks before his passing. He was in pretty good spirits even though as the time went on he became more uncomfortable. He was a wonderful man.

Thank you for your kind words Joe and I do hope you’re doing well today.

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105 Sonia
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 10:39 AM

My deepest sympathy to your friend and his family. I have lost quite a few relatives to Cancer and it still is tough on my family. One thing a friend told me once is that everyone has to come to terms with anything in their life. I might be able to get over something one day and someone else it might take years.

You are a strong lady and I think you were blessed to have some wonderful people in your life to impact you the way that they did. The best part is that we still have those memories and can look back and laugh about some of the quirky things that made them so special.

This past weekend, I was at the grocery store the other day and saw a lady that looked just like my grandmother, had the same name and was from the same state. How freaky is that? I told her she reminded me of her and started crying right in front of her in the store. She was so gracious and touched my arm saying that she was honored to have reminded me of someone so dear to me. I couldn’t help it and I still choke up about it now as I write this comment to you. That is something I have never done. I guess you can say I haven’t come to terms with it still, but I have the sweet memories of her and all nice things she did for me as a child. I just miss her.

Thank you Adrienne for sharing what was on your mind and opening up to us. We admire you for it.

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106 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 10:49 AM

Hey Sonia,

Thank you so much, I appreciate that. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve also lost a few relatives to cancer. It’s a horrible disease, one that I just hate with everything that I am. But life does go on and we just have to learn how to live with it right!

Ah Sonia, I bet that lady was so touched that she reminded you of your grandmother. I know what you’re saying. I didn’t realize that Tony’s death would have this much of an impact on me but I realized that I still had unresolved issues with my Dad’s passing. It’s the anger of how it happened and why it happened that I’ve had a hard time with. I went through two years of therapy to help me with my Dad’s death and I honestly thought I had gotten past it. With Tony’s death though, it brought a lot of that back to the surface and I’ve really had a difficult time. I’m coming to understand that they are both related and why so I’ve been working through that once more. It is getting better though.

Thank you Sonia, I really do appreciate that! Sorry I haven’t been by your place and I’m eager to read your interview with Ashvini. But I’ll be by there later okay! See you then.

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107 Sonia
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 3:34 PM

No worries Adrienne. You always make time for everyone else and there is always days when we can’t do it all. Take your time, the post will still be there. I always value your comments. Thanks for your reply, I am still thinking about that old lady.

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108 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 4:54 PM

Thanks Sonia, I finally made it by and loved the interview. You know that Ashvini is one of my favorites. Oh yeah!

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109 Mandy
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 11:08 AM

I can feel your sadness from over the pond, Adrienne. Time is a great healer, although it won’t take away your sadness, you’ll just get sad about it less often as time goes on. I’m a great believer in thoughts put out for others, so just know you are in my prayers right now.

Mandy

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110 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 12:48 PM

Time does help Mandy, thank goodness for that. It’s been a rough road for sure.

I appreciate that, thank you so much. Now I’m feeling you! :-)

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111 elizbeth traub April 26, 2012 at 6:07 PM

Adrienne, So sorry for your loss. I too recently lost one of my closest friends to cancer. Life does go on, but the reality is that I will never be that person again. That person I was when I was with her. With each relationship we share, there is that something special that draws us into that friendship, that covenant of friendship. May your sadness turn into those lingering memories of the sweetness of that friendship. Blessings, Elizabeth

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112 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 26, 2012 at 8:55 PM

Thank you Elizabeth and I’m so sorry for your loss as well. You are so right, he will also have that special place in my heart like no other and his energy will be hard to beat. I wish you the very same so thank you for sharing that with me.

Take care!

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113 Alan
Twitter:
April 27, 2012 at 6:27 AM

Adrienne,

I’m really sorry to hear the news and you’re right, it’s things like this which make us realize just how fragile and how precious life is. What a waste it is to worry, argue, stress and fight with each other when life is short and precious and there to be lived whilst we have it.

My father lost his sister to cancer recently too and they weren’t speaking to each other at the time – it was quite sudden and he always intended to go and see her and make up but it was too late. I think that’s something he will always regret, because he really loved her.

let me know if there’s anything at all I can do to help,

take care & best wishes,
Alan

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114 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 27, 2012 at 10:32 AM

Hi Alan,

Thank you Alan, I really appreciate that. It’s been a rough few weeks but I’m doing much better today. Life is too short to worry and argue about things that don’t really matter in the big scheme of things. Just love the ones you’re with because you never know when your time will come.

Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that Alan and that’s the perfect example of what we were talking about. Your Dad will live with that regret and it will eat him up. I know, my own family did that when my Dad died. They hadn’t spent enough time with him nor told him all the things they wanted. It ate them up for years. It’s not something you want to carry with you.

I appreciate that, I really do. I had a friend call me on Monday and helped me through some of the anger I was holding on to. The injustice of it all, things that are totally out of our control but I was just so angry about it. She really helped me understand what exactly I was holding on to and I’ve been working on letting that all go this week. I really do feel so much better. I’m still sad but time will help with that.

Thank you Alan and you have a wonderful weekend okay. Best wishes to you as well.

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115 Alan
Twitter:
April 27, 2012 at 12:36 PM

For what it’s worth I really think you are doing the right thing to go with your feelings.

Life throws these things at us sometimes but you are right to take whatever time you need as and when you need it and if you ask me you are on top of your game by allowing those feelings to be natural and take their natural course.

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116 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 27, 2012 at 1:21 PM

Thank you Alan, I appreciate that. Truly! :-)

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117 Nicky
Twitter:
April 27, 2012 at 4:24 PM

Oh Adrienne, I can feel your sadness and pain in this post and I just know exactly how you are feeling too. We’re told that things happen for a reason, but when people go before their time, it is hard to know what that reason may be.

When I lost my Mum last month to that same awful disease, at least I knew she had a long and relatively full life, which definitely makes it a bit easier, so I have no words of any real comfort for you , other than you are in my thoughts and I know you will be there for his family.

I am sorry I am so late to this post – I saw your FB note last week, but I am glad you wrote a post about what you are feeling – I know when I did it, it gave me some sort of relief.

Thinking of you,
Nicky

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118 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 27, 2012 at 5:45 PM

Hey Nicky,

I hate that you understand this one having recently lost your Mom. Now both of Tony’s boys have lost their Dad. I did have a hard time understanding how that can be fair in any form or fashion. Heck, he’s younger than me!

You are right, at least we know our parents have had a great life even if we still aren’t ready for them to leave us. Other people still have a heck of a lot more living to do. It’s just sad Nicky!

I didn’t add this one to the group because it wasn’t one I particularly had to have comments on you know. I just needed to share what I was feeling and why I haven’t quite been my perky self. But I appreciate your kind words, they mean a lot.

Thank you so much and hope you enjoy your weekend. Get you some rest and relax because when that puppy arrives, you are going to have your hands full! ;-)

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119 Ashvini
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 1:46 AM

Hey Adrienne,

So sorry to hear about the loss. I feel very sad for you and his family. I hope you are able to cope. All I can say is I am there for you in these times.
I hope that you get enough strength to fight these lonely depressing times and I hope to see you smiling once again .
Take care

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120 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 9:07 AM

Hi Ashvini,

Thank you for that and I’m definitely getting back to my old self again. I’m still sad over the loss but have come to accept that he’s gone and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. He will truly be missed in so many ways but his memories will live on through all of us.

Thank you for your kind words of support. They mean so much.

Enjoy your week okay!

~Adrienne

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121 Sire
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 4:29 AM

Hi Adrienne, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say more but I’m always a loss for words in this type of situation.

I do know what you’re going through though as I loss a dear friend to cancer over a year ago and my sister in law is struggling with it now as I’m typing this. It is really an awful situation and I cannot bring myself to face what may be the ultimate outcome. I pray daily to the Lord that she be spared this fate. All she is asking for is another 4 months so she can be at her daughters 21st but I want so much more than that for her.

I’m sorry, I don’t really know what else to say.

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122 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 9:11 AM

Hi Sire,

I appreciate that and I know what you mean. Back when I lost my Dad, saying I’m sorry just didn’t cut it but we never know what to say because there are no words that will help in times like this. I think that just knowing people care is enough.

Oh Sire, I’m so sorry to hear that. Tony just wanted to see his sons graduate from high school. But his oldest had two more years to go. I hate that he wasn’t spared to at least see one of them up there getting his diploma. I have a few things that just may help so I’ll email those to you to pass along to your sister-in-law okay! I do believe in miracles with everything that I am so let’s pray that she gets one of those herself okay!

Don’t you worry about that at all. I just appreciate your kind words Sire. Keep that chin up okay! ♥

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123 Bruce April 30, 2012 at 8:50 AM

What a horrible disease cancer is. It has been close to me as well, as both my father & mother were cancer sufferer’s, my Dad with Leukaemia & died at the same age as I will be on my birthday this week. Makes you ponder stuff…

My Mum had breast cancer at age 70, but with treatment lived through to 86 and simply passed away, but not from cancer.

I do believe we’ve come a long way with cancer treatments, and I think that even my Dad may have had a better chance at a longer life had he been diagnosed today, rather than 40 years ago.

Let’s make sure we all do our bit to contribute to the various cancer research organizations and one day we’ll beat this thing!

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124 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 10:30 AM

Hey Bruce,

I’m so sorry to hear that both your parents were hit with this horrible disease as well. So were both of mine. I’m sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age. Thankfully mine lived to be 80 and we never thought he’d ever make it that far. We’re so blessed that he did.

Wow, my Mom had breast cancer at 65 but had to have a mastectomy. She’ll be 87 next month and still going strong yet has had cancer three more times since then. I’m glad to hear your Mom lived a long life. I hope it was a healthy one.

I know what you mean because my Dad was diagnosed when he was in his 40′s and of course, that was back in the 50′s. They have definitely come a long way but there are still cancers that are rare, which is what he had, and incurable, which is what my friend Tony had. I do believe there are some natural cures out there though and I’ve heard about some of them from people I know. I just hope that some day they can find a cure that the doctor’s will share and not think that they’ll no longer be able to practice because of it. That’s what worries me.

Thanks for sharing that Bruce and here is an early Happy Birthday wish! Hope you have a fabulous week.

~Adrienne

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125 Leora Wenger
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 8:48 PM

I am sorry that you had to lose your dear friend, and that horrible disease cancer struck again. I hate cancer – don’t we all? My mother died of cancer.

Life has gotten in the way of my blogging and making visits to people I like (like yourself), but I read this earlier today and made my way back to the comment section to say I care. Keep up the good connecting, Adrienne. You know how to get important, caring people into your life when you most need them.

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126 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
April 30, 2012 at 8:53 PM

Oh Leora, I’m so sorry that this horrible disease also took someone you loved. I hate cancer with everything that I am. Urgh!!!

Life will do that sometimes you know! I’m so touched that you made it back over here just to leave your thoughts with me. I’m so touched and I really appreciate that. I’ve met so many wonderful people online who have been so supportive and you are among those Leora. Thank you for sharing that with me. I really appreciate you!

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127 Lenia
Twitter:
May 1, 2012 at 3:04 PM

Hi Adrienne,
Even if I read this a little bit late, I am really sorry for your lost. This post is touching me a lot. I understand when you say that it is never easy when we loose someone very close. I don’t know you for a long time. But i had the chance to meet you and discover a very honest and strong person. That is you. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t succeed your week goals Adrienne. What it is important is to put priorites in life. And you prove that you know how to do that too. I hope you are going to smile soon again as you smile in the picture above.

Ps by the way, I am like you, I cry always even with short sad videos.

Lenia

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128 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
May 1, 2012 at 7:34 PM

Hi Lenia,

Thank you for that, I really appreciate it.

Losing someone you love is never easy and time is the only thing that will help it not hurt as much. Thank you for your kind words, that really means a lot. I know that I am a strong person but some things really do bring me to my knees.

I did get my blog posts done, barely, but nothing else. I tried my best to concentrate on other things but that just didn’t happen. But I am doing so much better with this new week upon me so thank you for sharing that.

Glad to hear I’m not alone with my crying spells. :-)

Hope you’re having a wonderful week Lenia!

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129 Mitch Mitchell
Twitter:
May 5, 2012 at 12:06 AM

Just seeing this post now and I hate to say this but I know what you’re going through. As we get older we have to “survive” so many of our friends and family and the maladies they go through, and it’s never easy. I’ve lost 5 friends in the last 3 years to cancer and one who didn’t survive bariatric surgery. Next month will be the 10th year since my dad left, cancer and kidney failure. It can and does shut us down, but time really does at least give us the chance to come out of it and progress. Pulling for you.

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130 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
May 5, 2012 at 12:12 PM

I’m so sorry Mitch that you’ve lost that many friends to cancer within the past five years. I guess I’m lucky then that I’ve only lost three people now since my dad passed away nine years ago. Two of them were relatives too which wasn’t easy. But time does help with it not hurting as badly. The loss of them never really goes away.

Thanks for sharing that Mitch.

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131 Samantha Bangayan
Twitter:
May 8, 2012 at 12:43 PM

Adrienne, I’m so, so sorry to hear about your friend, Tony. Even though death seems to be more prominent here in Peru (in the newspaper, in people’s conversations), it still hits me every time too. Maybe it’s necessary to have these kinds of reminders to be more grateful, to appreciate others, and to value life.

I also really related to you when you shared how you cry about everything now. When things were rough during my adolescence years, I learned to compartmentalize and close up. And now? The complete opposite. Anything remotely family-related will make me tear up. =P

Thanks for continuing to be such an inspiration. =)

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132 Adrienne Smith
Twitter:
May 8, 2012 at 2:17 PM

Hey Samantha,

Great to see you young lady… Congratulations are in order for you and Roy. I’m so very happy for you Samantha and so thrilled about your happiness.

I’m so sorry you headed over to check this post out of all of them I have. Last month was not a very happy month for me I’m afraid but I’m doing so much better then I was. The initial shock has worn off and I’m dealt with my issues. Tony’s loss will be with us for quite some time but time will help it not be so darn fresh.

Yeah, I cry at the littlest thing now and it’s so embarrassing. And trust me, it’s an ugly cry too. I don’t know how to do anything different.

Hopefully you’re announcing the big ceremony over at your blog so I’ll stop by and check that out. I’m so happy for you Samantha and I know you and Roy will be so happy!

~Adrienne

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