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Why You Are Not Successful On Facebook

by Adrienne Smith on September 13, 2012

Successful On FacebookFacebook…  Some people love it and some people hate it.

No matter where you fall in this category you have to admit, it’s the most popular social networking site online today with over 700 million users.

I continue to see so many people make mistakes on Facebook though and some of them really get under my skin.  No wonder they aren’t having any success.

Hey I certainly don’t claim to be perfect because trust me, I use to make these mistakes myself.  This is what I do here on my blog.  I teach you what I’ve learned and I thought it was about time to share these lessons with you.

Those Killer Mistakes

Have you read my free report about my relationship marketing secrets?  Well then you know that building relationships is important to whatever you’re online to achieve.

This blog is considered social media and you all know that I use it to build relationships with my readers.  Why?  Because people connect with people.  It’s just as important if not more to do that on a site like Facebook.

The mistake I see so many people make is the same mistakes I use to make when I first joined.  The only reason I joined Facebook was because I came online and wanted to start making money.  I was told that it’s the place to be.

I sent a friend request to anyone who had a profile picture up.  I eventually got to 5,000 friends and I thought I had hit the jackpot.  Guess what!  Nothing happened.

Looking back on that now I felt like such an idiot. As time went by I eventually learned that whatever business, product or service I was a part of they didn’t have my best interests at heart.  Hell no!  All they cared about was me promoting what they had to offer.

Relationship Marketing

The biggest mistake people make today is sharing what they’re selling to anyone who will listen.  I actually can’t get too upset with most people who do this only because I have a pretty good feeling that they are being taught to do this too.

The online industry is about relationships.  You’ve probably heard this so much you’re ready to scream but it is about people connecting to people.  People really do want to work with people they know, like and trust.  If you’re spamming people with your links and not taking that time to get to know who they are then you’re not only wasting your time but hurting your reputation.

People want to connect with you.  Stop listening to everyone else and listen to your gut.  You know that the way you are doing things is just not working.

The Right Way To Connect 

The biggest mistake I see people make is they send a friend request.  That’s it!

Yeah, like that’s really going to help you stand out!

So you have to ask yourself this question.  Why would that person want to connect with you?  You’ve sent them a friend request, they don’t know who you are or why you want to be their friend.

I don’t accept any friend requests from anyone who has not reached out to me first.  I don’t care who you are…

Want to know the right way to connect with people and build those relationships?

Don’t send them a friend request first.  Send them an email and let them know why you are contacting them.  Stop by their profile and read more about them.  What are their interests, what are their hobbies, what books do they enjoy, what groups are you both a part of, what movies are their favorites, what TV shows do they watch, what music do they listen to, are they animal lovers.  Surely you can find something in common with them that you two share.  Lead with that.

Wouldn’t you rather work with someone who has some of the same interests?  Remember, this is about making those connections and forming new friendships.  This isn’t just about getting someone to buy what you offer.

Once you make that initial connection keep the conversation going.  Learn more about them, find those common interests.  Ask the right questions so you’ll know whether or not what you have to offer is something they may need.  If not and you’ve formed that friendship, they’ll like you enough to recommend some of their friends.

Once you’ve formed that connection then and only then ask if you can send them a friend request so you two can stay in touch.  If they don’t respond or they drop off the face of the earth don’t waste any more time with them.

Don’t send people friend requests because you want to get your numbers up.  Send them a friend request because you want to be friends.  The connections you make online will benefit you so much more then just making that one sale.

Just Because We’re Friends

Another mistake I see people make is just because we’ve connected on Facebook and chatted a few times doesn’t give you the right to add me to groups without my permission.  If you’ve made that connection with me and want to introduce me to a group or you feel it could possibly benefit me in some way, send me an email and ask me if you can send me an invitation of if you can add me.

People like to throw you into groups because that gives other people in those groups access to you. Is that really what you want?  You might not want to connect with those people so to me it’s rude to think that’s okay.

Friends are respectful of friends.  Friends care about their friends and they definitely want the best for them.

I Could Go On

Yes, there are more things on Facebook that I could go on about but I think you get the picture.  Be respectful of others, don’t tag them in photos that they aren’t in just so you can get in front of their friends.  My motto is always treat people the way you would want to be treated.

Would you want people doing that to you?  Remember my post on what kind of reputation are you building?  When you do these things to others they’ll remember you.  They may mark you as spam and if you get enough complaints Facebook will delete your profile.

Facebook is about building relationships and once you start doing that your new friends will be there for you.  They will support you when you need it, share your information with their friends or even introduce you to people who they think might benefit you.  It will open so many doors you can’t even imagine right now.

I hope this post was helpful and I apologize once again for it being so long.  I keep telling myself I’m going to make my posts shorter but I never seem to accomplish that.  At least not yet.

I appreciate your comments and can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this topic.  Does this drive you nuts too?  Did you make some of these same mistakes or are you making them now?  Was this post helpful?

Love for you to share this post with your friends.  Always eager to help others learn and this topic just may be helpful to a few people.

Have a fabulous day!

 

 

 

 


Business Developer
Email:  Adrienne@AdrienneSmith.net

 

{ 131 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Harleena Singh
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:16 AM

Much needed post Adrienne!

Oh yes…there are a few things that annoy most of us about Facebook, which you listed out so well in today’s post.

I ditto your words about building relationships and connecting with one another first and foremost, before sending any kind of friend request and wanting to be added to your friend list only for your own purpose. That’s not the way things work! I don’t understand too as to how people just want to be friends without really knowing the real you. It happens with me too, and now I’ve started sending them over to the Fanpage instead if they would want to remain connected.

I am lucky that so far I haven’t got those many invitations to join groups, perhaps because my profile page consists on my near and dear ones, and very close friends who understand that you need to ask before sending such an invitation. But yes, it does get annoying to get such invitations or even notifications for playing games, which is again not something that I would like because of the lack of time. Of course, you are left with no other option if people don’t stop sending you those, other than to turn-off such kind of notifications.

And don’t worry about the length of your post because we get lost reading it and I remain guilty of long ones myself too.:) I guess these are very important points if you really want to be successful on Facebook and leave a mark.

Thanks for sharing this much required post. :)

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2 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:24 AM

Good morning Harleena,

Thank you, I kind of thought so too. I didn’t cover every single thing but I wanted to address the main issues I see people continue to make.

I think a lot of people are on Facebook and they aren’t there for the actual connections. They are there to see what kind of information they can put in front of you and your friends. They aren’t understanding the concept of how this site really works and can to their advantage if they just dropped all the nonsense and started actually connecting with people. It’s a slow process, I understand that but it’s the one that will last.

I don’t get invitations to join groups, they just add me. That irritates me to no end. They may know me from chatting on Facebook but they still didn’t ask my permission and that’s just rude.

I also hate all the game requests and app invitations. I don’t get as many as I use to mainly because I’ve blocked so many of them, probably hundreds that I just ignore them now. I’ve never played one game on Facebook and I’m not into that stuff anyway. Heck, like you said, when do you find the time!

I took a lot of stuff out too Harleena because it was just getting way too long. I just get on a roll and I can’t help myself. I guess that’s why you can’t really cover everything in just one post. It would be a mini-novel by the time I finished. It’s hard for me to just get straight to the point though.

Thank you for sharing this with me and I’m so happy that you agree as well. I never know what people will think or if they agree or not. I guess that’s why I enjoy asking so many questions.

Enjoy what’s left of your week.

~Adrienne

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3 Dhruv
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:22 AM

Hi Adrienne,
I am addicted to Facebook so much!
Even most of people are.
As mentioned by you, people throw other people to groups which I personally don’t find good. One should always ask before adding other people..
Sending an invitation to play game is also annoying.. I got lot of invites from other people to join “FarmVille”. What the crap it was??
I am happy that I am not doing such things which annoy other people… I don’t tag people in useless photos, I don’t send invites regarding apps, yearbook and all..
Thanks for sharing these things with us .
Have a good day :)

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4 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:29 AM

Hi Dhruv,

Ah, another Facebook lover. So happy to hear that Dhruv and that you agree with me on some of these things that people are doing wrong.

I so agree with you, people should ask if you’re even interested before putting you into something without your permission. Next thing you know you’re receiving all those threads from what people are saying and you have no idea what it even is. Even if I think the group is a good one, I’ll usually leave just because of that reason. I’ll also email that person and tell them I didn’t appreciate that at all.

I don’t get as many game requests anymore because I’ve blocked every single one that is ever sent to me. I use to get dozens of requests for the same game but I stopped that quickly. I probably have hundreds of them blocked now. I’ve never played any games on Facebook. Who has the time!

I’m so happy to hear that you’re being respectful of others and connecting with them before asking them to be your friend. Sounds like you’re doing really well with Facebook and I have no doubt, having much success.

Thanks so much for your comment and you enjoy the rest of your week.

~Adrienne

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5 Celeste Smucker
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:23 AM

Hi Adrienne…As usual you have given us an informative post with some great points…I am always a bit taken aback to find friend requests from people I know nothing about and wonder where they came from. I have also experienced finding myself in groups I know nothing about. Nobody expects to walk up to total strangers and be instant friends…but somehow we have a tendency to lose sight of that online.

The approach you suggest is a lot more work, but makes a lot of sense and I’m sure has a much bigger payoff in the long run…not only in money but in good relationships and as you point out in reputation. Thanks again for sharing your valuable insights.

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6 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:33 AM

Hi Celeste,

I’m happy to hear that you agree with me. It’s so annoying to wake up in the morning and my inbox is flooded with emails from something I know absolutely nothing about. Adding me to a group without even finding out if I’m interested turns me off that I have to sometimes even question my relationship with that person. That’s why my friend list is not that big. I’m here to make connections.

Connecting with others is a lot more work and time consuming but people will remember you. If they see your posts or information in the news feed, they’ll take more interest because it’s you. If you continue to post positive and inspirational things along with some humor and getting people to interact, you’ll stand out from the rest. It’s a great way to build those relationships but doing it any other way might hurt you in the long run.

Thanks for sharing that Celeste, glad you enjoy my post. Have a great day!

~Adrienne

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7 Mandy Allen
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:24 AM

Yep, I could go on too, Adrienne! LOve the post and so true. The thing that irritates me a lot is when people add things to my wall without asking. I always delete them, no matter what they are. I keep my permissions open because I want people to be able to access my information without having to jump through hoops, unfortunately it encourages some people to take advantage. I was interested to read your tip about reading a profile first. Some FB users have their pages locked so you can’t read anything unless you are their friend. Makes that bit kind of hard to do. But yes, a message to say who you are and why you want to friend someone is the right hing to do.

Enjoy the journey.

Mandy

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8 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:38 AM

Hey Mandy,

Ilka Flood wrote a post this week about what she finds annoying about Facebook. I laughed when I read it and even told her this topic was on my list to write as well. She had that issue too, people posting things to her wall. I don’t have that issue as much which is why I didn’t include it. I think it’s because I’m really picky about who I add as a friend because of the process I go through to make those connections. I just hate that you’re having this issue as well.

That is the one thing people shouldn’t have locked is their profile page. As a matter of fact, I have everything locked accept that if we aren’t friends yet. I don’t advertise what I do, just more about who I am. I share my interests, etc. so that people can see if I’m someone they want to connect with. If someone locks their profile from me then I just skip right over them. If I can’t learn more about them then I won’t even waste my time.

Thanks for sharing this Mandy and so glad you agree. I hate that my friends run into some of these same issues but that just goes to show how many people there are on Facebook who are not having any success.

~Adrienne

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9 Corinne Rodrigues
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:29 AM

Hi Adrienne – another fab post from you that asks some great questions. I use FB a lot and have been very successful in connecting it with building my blog. This happened through joining Blog Groups, connecting with a lot of old friends, colleagues, trainees and students. I keep my connections in FB personal and yet don’t share too much personal information which makes me comfortable to add people I don’t know very well too. I must say that I’ve had some wonderful conversations there and connected with a lot of kindred souls across the world.
Yes, the adding to groups is an irritant. But I have learnt to quietly sign out without explaining to the person who added me -since they didn’t discuss it with me anyway! ;) I also have learnt to ignore requests from people who I have no mutual friends with or nothing in common with. I go with my instincts and am glad to report I haven’t had a bad experience to date.

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10 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:42 AM

Hi Corinne,

I’m so happy to hear that you’ve had a lot more positive experiences with Facebook. Sounds like you’re having a lot of success with making those connections and I must say, I had to learn from having made some of the mistakes I mentioned. Heck, I was doing what some internet genius told me to do but it was very obvious they didn’t know about making connections. So glad I’m a people person because this really comes naturally for me.

I must admit, I have to send them an email and let them know that I didn’t appreciate being added without my permission. I’m not ugly about it at all but how else are they going to learn if you don’t point that out to them. If they don’t learn from that, that’s their mistake they’ll continue to make.

Glad you’ve had so much fun on Facebook. I love hearing this Corinne and thanks so much for sharing this with me. Enjoy the rest of your week now.

~Adrienne

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11 Corinne Rodrigues
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:27 AM

I think in the end it’s our ability to connect offline that we take with us into the World Wide Web. However, in the past few years, I’ve been making more connections online than offline, Adrienne. I’m working to reverse that again. I like your point about mailing people, so that they can learn from their mistakes. I’ll remember to do that too now. Thanks so much for being you.

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12 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:33 AM

I think that’s definitely where it all starts Corinne. We have to remember how to make friends and that all starts with having done that throughout the years offline.

Like you, I’ve been making a whole heck of a lot more connections online then offline because I’m working online and I don’t get out that much anymore. I love it actually because I’ve met people I would never have had that opportunity to meet and then I meet friends they are connected to and it just continues. Heck, I met you! How cool is that!

It never hurts to just send a friendly note letting people know their mistakes. You don’t have to be mean about it but they may not know that’s just not cool.

Thanks Corinne…

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13 Jess Brown
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:43 AM

Hi Adrienne,

Your post couldn’t have come at a better time. You hit on things that every ‘good’ network marketer needs to know…and I NEEDED this reminder.

I have a personal and very embarrassing story to share about this very topic – about what NOT to do on facebook and it just happened to me last night. Keep in mind I have been properly trained of how to interact and build relationships on facebook and have been doing it for months.

I recently joined a new business venture to supplement my primary business so I’m new and wanting to recruit some people right away. My upline made some very spammy scripts that she and our whole team have been using all week. The scary part is, they have been working to an extent. Anyway, against my better judgment, after much prodding from my upline, I decided to give them a try so I blasted 20 messages out to a group I’m involved in. I instantly got a few positive responses back and I thought all was well.

Then I got a message from the group moderator who also happens to be very well-known in the industry that if I send anymore messages like that to anyone else, I’ll be removed from the group. I apologized and assured her it wouldn’t happen again. (my head is still hanging in shame this morning) All I can think of now is that I have destroyed my reputation.

Lesson 1. Don’t listen to bad advice
Lesson 2. Take my time and do what i KNOW is right
Lesson 3. There is no quick fix to building relationships

Have a great day, Adrienne.

Jess

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14 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:05 AM

Hi Jess,

I’m glad that you found this one helpful and a possible reminder of what will help you move forward.

I appreciate you sharing that with me Jess and I can only imagine how embarrassed you must have been. I’ve found myself in that position myself but it’s been quite some time before I made those mistakes. I’ve been in several other income streams that the creators have suggested letting people know about on Facebook. They show their video testimonials, etc. of how people jumped on this one quickly. All I could think in my mind is no way in hell am I spamming my list.

What I do instead is email a few people and ask them if they are interested in looking at another income stream and then I’ll go into how it can benefit them if they are interested. Yeah, it’s more time consuming but then they’ll stick with it and also pass it along to their friends so that works so much better.

A lesson learned right!

Thanks again for sharing that story. Have a great day yourself.

~Adrienne

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15 Sylviane Nuccio
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:05 AM

Hi Adrienne,

Ah, so much to say about facebook. I have to admit that because I am always so darn busy I do send some invitations without introducing myself, once in a while, but I am fully aware that it’s no good :)

The other day as I was online a guy that I don’t know sends me a IM saying. May I ask you something? and since I was about to log out I said, sure, just send me a message as I am loggin out now, and then he said, OK, never mind…. :) Then I see a message saying “Where are you coming from”? So I reply with…”Where am I coming from? Do you mean where am I from? Those two sentences mean two different things in English, you know. LOL I have to admit that I said that because I was kind of annoyed by his question. (click on my links and I sweare you’ll find out where I’m from). Haven’t heard from him since.

Then you have those people asking you questions and even though you do your best to give them an answer, you never hear back from them. Gosh, we can say that those people don’t know how to use facebook for sure. And I’m glad you wrote this post for such people :)

Thank you for putting the dot on the “i” again, Adrienne.

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16 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:21 AM

Hi Sylviane,

Ah, not making those initial connections first. See if this will work for you. Take 15 minutes out of your day or before you turn off the computer at night and make a connection with just one person. If they don’t reply then it’s no big loss.

I just roll my eyes at people like that Sylviane but at the same time, I can’t help but send them an email and ask them how that marketing strategy is working for them. Nothing else, just that.

I know so many people are being taught the wrong way to use this platform but I also know that they’ll eventually get tired and give up. There will always be that new person taking their place though but for us who know how to use it properly, we’ll be the ones making those lasting connections and continuing on with what we have to share. Maybe if we teach enough people along the way, they can also spread the word. Maybe one day we’ll make a difference.

Thanks for sharing that with me and so happy to have dotted that “i”. :-)

Enjoy your day!

~Adrienne

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17 robin hallett September 13, 2012 at 9:10 AM

Hi Adrienne,

Thanks for this post. Very good points. I am just beginning to figure out (the hard way) that blindly accepting friend requests is a mistake.

I had someone who kept tagging me in photos which were actually ads for their own website. It made me crazy, especially the flooding of my inbox with 80+ email responses from other people being tagged – yikes! I just keep wondering, who does this kind of stuff?? It is so rude. Before I knew how to remove the offending posts from my wall it was really a pain in the butt.
Even writing to the person directly had no effect.

I’ve got things locked down now, so that I can approve or reject this kind if stuff before it goes in my wall. No more tagging me :-)

I liked Harleenas suggestion to refer people we don’t know to our fan page. Good idea.

Have a great day,

Robin

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18 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:27 AM

Hi Robin,

Glad you enjoyed my post and for sharing your own experiences with me.

I think it’s just a learn as you go for most people I’m afraid. Being taught the wrong way to approach people is a horrible way to start on such an awesome platform.

I immediately unfriend people like that but you are so right, that’s just extremely rude. It continues to boggle my mind that people actually do that stuff. Those are the people who need to get their stuff tagged as spam so that Facebook can take other measures against them. You know, teach them a lesson the hard way. Mean, I know but some of them just deserve that.

Glad you got things flowing smoothly now.

I like Harleena’s suggestion as well and some people I do that to but I also want real people connecting to my fan page so having them as a friend first really helps with the interaction.

Thank you again for your comment and please do enjoy your day.

~Adrienne

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19 Oliver Tausend
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:13 AM

Hi Adrienne,

thanks for sharingt these common mistakes. The problem is: Spammers won’t read this post. They don’t want to do it correctly. You might have a chance to reach those who want to do it correctly but don’t know what they’re doing and make those beginner mistakes you and I made as well. And, as you note, spamming people can work to a certain extent, until you run into someone who doesn’t tolerate it.

Best,

Oliver

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20 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 9:30 AM

Hi Oliver,

You are so right, spammers won’t read this post and they could care less. Thank goodness I don’t connect with spammers but perhaps some of my friends will share this post on their wall and a spammer just might take an interest in learning how they can effectively have more success on Facebook. I like to look on the brighter side of things Oliver. ;-)

We all make these beginner mistakes, you’re right about that. Hopefully we can all learn rather quickly the best way to have more success and avoid falling into that hole of doom and gloom.

Thanks Oliver, I appreciate you stopping by today. Enjoy your weekend.

~Adrienne

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21 Fiona Scott September 13, 2012 at 10:34 AM

Great post Adrienne.

I’d like to add another mistake, if I may. One that I’ve just learnt from being ‘slapped’ by Facebook recently!

People who I don’t ‘know’ send me friend requests, which I accept, after researching their profile (I decline just as many as I accept). After accepting their friendship, I then shared a great little mindset video on their wall – if it was appropriate to their profile.

I’ve now been restricted by Facebook from adding friends and messaging people who are not friends, which is no big deal as I haven’t ‘friended’ people I don’t actually know for about 8 months now.

I was chatting to a marketing friend about the Facebook slap as I couldn’t figure out what I’d done wrong – and she said that some people consider it spam if you comment (or place videos) on their wall, even though they permit you posting on their wall. So I’ve stopped doing it, as of 3 weeks ago.

It just highlights different people’s tolerance or definition of ‘spam’. I hope that others can learn from my mistake :)

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22 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 11:11 AM

Hi Fiona,

Thank you and glad you liked this post.

I have another friend who doesn’t like people posting things on her wall but I haven’t had any issues with this area so I appreciate you sharing that. For people who I’ve made a connection with if they are sharing something positive and uplifting that isn’t advertising a product or service of theirs then I don’t mind if they post things. But I can see where there are people who don’t even appreciate that. We just have to be careful what we share and just be sure to make those connections first.

I guess this is yet another lesson learned right Fiona? Thank you again and hope everything is okay now.

Enjoy your day.

~Adrienne

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23 Ilka Flood
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Hi Adrienne,

Right on! You mentioned some of the same annoyances I have a problem with as well. Facebook is first and foremost a social network which means you have to socialize and build relationships with people you friend there…not just get your numbers up. It’s not a popularity contest and you don’t win a prize for having the most friends.

I see people all the time who have their friends maxed out, but when you look at their wall there’s really nothing going on. It’s like a ghost town. You wonder!

Another thing that really annoyed me where those pesky game invitations. But I finally nipped that in the butt once and for all.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this topic!

Have a great rest of the week!

Ilka

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24 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 11:15 AM

Hey hey hey Ilka!!! See, I told you it was coming!

Yep, we definitely have a lot of the same annoyances I agree. I know when I started on Facebook though I was told to get as many friends as possible because all those people who be looking at what you share. Heck, the majority of them could care less with everything being posted on their news feed. Who are we kidding.

I’ve blocked so many games that I hardly get any invitations anymore which is why I didn’t mention that one. I’ll have to read your post to see if you have another other clever ways for just stopping all those invitations. I hate the apps too. Urgh!!!

Thanks Ilka for piping in and I always appreciate your point of view. Can’t wait to read your post.

~Adrienne

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25 Vidya Sury
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 11:56 AM

Ultimately Facebook or any social network is about connecting meaningfully and having conversations, not about the numbers. I don’t appreciate being auto-checked into groups either. But then – even telling some people doesn’t evoke a response, they just continue doing what they do. I like Facebook because it is a nice way to keep in touch with school mates and ex-colleagues – and of course a great place to share stuff with those we know. I usually ignore random friend requests from people I am unlikely to connect with. One checkpoint is mutual friends is to decide whether or not to accept.

All that apart – since I don’t have a business website, I try and minimize my Facebook time, simply because I have to work offline :-)

Great post with valuable points, Adrienne. Thank you.

Love, Vidya

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26 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 12:49 PM

You are so right Vidya, all these social networking sites like Facebook are suppose to be designed to connect with others. So many people just miss the boat on this one.

There are some people who will just never learn and those are the ones I don’t care to mess with. I’ll usually unfriend them and not lose any sleep over it. Maybe someday they’ll learn or maybe not.

It is a great place to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues, I agree. I’ve had a great time on Facebook meeting so many wonderful people and learning more about who they are.

I don’t accept any friend requests unless they reach out to me first. I’ll just go through the list and delete them all, I don’t have time to check them all out.

Thank you for sharing that with me Vidya and glad you enjoy your time spent on Facebook.

~Adrienne

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27 Carolyn
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 12:13 PM

Oops! I came back to tweet and my comment never posted. Sorry about that.

Anyway, you are so right, Adrienne. I think it’s creepy when I get friend requests from strangers when we have no friends in common. It’s best to stay away from those people.

My daughters are on Facebook and the rule is they can only be friends with kids from their school or camp. So it’s just like you said, you have to have a connection first!

Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Adrienne! :-)

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28 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 12:53 PM

Oh my goodness, what that something on my end? I saw that last week Donna had commented yet it never posted but I didn’t find it in the trash or spam folders so I’m really confused about that. I hope this isn’t a problem I’m going to start having. I haven’t even updated yet.

I still get emails almost every day Carolyn from men who have fallen in love with my picture. I mean do they really think that crap works? That’s creepy… I sometimes wonder how these people have the nerve to do what they do. I can’t for the life of me understand so I just delete the message and keep going.

I don’t accept any friend requests unless they send me an email and even then I may not add them. It depends on if we have anything in common and I check their site to see what they are all about. Other then that, I totally ignore them.

I think that’s great that you tell your girls to not friend everyone on Facebook. That could get kind of scary actually.

~Adrienne

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29 Carolyn
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:29 PM

It could be my end, Adrienne. My Internet connection has been a bit wonky today. :-)

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30 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:33 PM

Donna didn’t say either so hopefully it won’t happen again. Thanks Carolyn.

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31 Linda September 13, 2012 at 12:52 PM

Hi Adrienne,

I haven’t been on facebook too much lately…well, I have but not in the correct way ;-) I have a couple accounts – one is strictly business and the other is my actual friends..so, it differs, ya know! The business one I visit a couple times a week or when I have some free time which is usually at night. But, I slacked off with the friend requests and such. Most of them come from a training group I am in.

I hear ya about constantly being added to groups…that is completely wrong! I think what happens is, once you create a group, you can instantly add every friend with a click of a single button…so, this is why we all get added to these groups. Makes you wonder how many people actually stay on them once we all leave..lol.

Nice post here Adrienne. Hope you are doing well!

Linda

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32 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 12:56 PM

Hi Linda,

Great to see you again, it’s been awhile.

I hope things are going well for you and at least you’re getting on Facebook from time to time.

I know that when you first create a group you have to invite people but what I would do is tell my friends I’m creating one and ask them if they’d like to be a part of it before automatically adding them. I know you don’t have to select your entire list and I have family as my friends who have nothing to do with my online world. That’s just not cool to me…

Thanks for stopping by and always a pleasure to see you.

~Adrienne

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33 Mys Palmer
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Hey Adrienne,

Yup. That’s all I have to say.

Lol but honestly though, what else is there? It’s pretty simple and people, gooroos and so called social experts misguide folks. Which, like, sucks. But like you I say follow your gut ya know? Okay, I’m off to format this weeks post, I’m sooooo behind. But onward march before tonight’s game and then nothing else is getting done. I hope you had a great week!

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34 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:07 PM

Hey Mys,

Glad you agree and I covered it all. It is really simple, I agree and I do think that a lot of what is being taught is misleading. I hate that too but if you feel in the least bit uncomfortable about that then I wouldn’t do it. Do what feels right and you usually are never steered wrong.

Thanks Mys and hope you get everything done.

Have a great weekend now.

~Adrienne

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35 Enstine Muki
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:43 PM

Hey Adrienne,

I didn’t realize the post was long until you mentioned it. It’s all ‘meat’ from start to end.

Looks like you decided to educate just me today. I’m guilty of a greater part of this mistakes lol and I just think I have to redefine my Facebook strategy. I just can see why there have been no results.

A lot of wrong stuffs out there. Some even sell and buy facebook likes thinking they will get the expected results. This is something I have never done and I’m glad, at least I know that one lol

I’ll start practicing your advise and I’m sure to get results

Thanks for sharing with us

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36 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:47 PM

Hey Enstine,

Ah thanks, I appreciate you sharing that with me. Sometimes I wonder because I don’t want to bore people too terribly much. But sometimes I just have a lot to say.

Oh wow really! Well, I’m glad you dropped by today then and I was able to help shed some light. Don’t worry Enstine, I made these same mistakes which is why it was a learning process for me too but I was taught to do things differently and I had no results at all.

I don’t approve of buying Facebook likes. I know a lot of big marketers do that because in their minds people will definitely see them as a leader and buy everything they’re selling. Hey, it works for some people I just don’t agree with it that’s all.

You’ll get much better results Enstine if you take my advice. Trust me on this one, people will be more interested in getting to know who you are before they decide they’re interested in what you do.

Best of luck with that.

~Adrienne

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37 Bill Dorman
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:44 PM

Sounds good to me.

When I first jumped into social, Facebook was personal and it was mainly people I knew face to face. Twitter was personal/business, but somewhat anonymous people I got to know throughout the world. Then the world’s merged……

For now, I’m comfortable confining to majority of my activities to twitter. Facebook is just too visible and I don’t want people to think I’m playing online all day…. including my wife. Therefore, I will barely be a blip on FB…..Klout be damned……..:).

But if you are doing it the smart way like you are; then your suggestions are spot-on. Thanks for sharing.

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38 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:53 PM

I understand what you mean Bill because when I go to Facebook I often wonder how can these people play all day on here. Don’t they have things to do? I’m sure they may hop over every so often while doing other things but it’s deceiving.

Twitter is much easier I agree and I know that’s your favorite social hangout besides your blog.

Thanks for sharing that Mr. Dorman and hope you’re having an awesome day.

~Adrienne

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39 Lisa
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:56 PM

Hi Adrienne,
We can all admit to some of these at one time or another. I found it more complicated since I’ve started blogging. I don’t like sharing my blogging “stuff” with my family or “in person” friends (co-workers) etc. but I’ve started using lists so it helps especially sharing “blogger stuff” to other bloggers.
I don’t like to accept friend requests either unless I know them from Twitter and have conversed there or if they are a good friend of a good friend of mine, etc. The lines seem to get a little more blurry as time goes on on that as well.
I always keep in mind whatever you share online can be seen by anyone.
I’m amazed that some still invite me to play games when I never play games and have posted quotes about it and images, not just once but several times. (Maybe some day I will – I never say “never.”) But for now, I don’t.
I also can’t stand when someone just posts about themselves, showing their picture everyday and about their “events” and “stores.” only. I know we all have to make a living but why be friends if that’s all they want to do? They should have a page instead, right?
I never thought of emailing first to ask about being friends, good point. I’ve done it for adding anyone to groups. I don’t like to do that without permission. Same with posting photos. You just never know.
Great piece Adrienne. This is one we can share with all :)

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40 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 3:10 PM

Hi Lisa,

The lists come in real handy but I would love for my family and friends to at least read what I share from time to time. Heck, they never do and have yet to pay attention to anything that I share but I will admit. When they asked me if we could be friends I told them up front that I was using Facebook for my business so I would be posting things regarding that. If they wanted in, great. If not, great too. They said no problem so that’s why I haven’t had any issues with that myself Lisa.

You brought up some great points as well Lisa and I “think” I’ve found something that will stop all those game requests dead in their tracks. I’m testing it now and will probably write a post on it if I find it’s helped. I hate those to be honest with you.

I know that what we post everyone sees and then when you have your social icons on your blog for people to connect with you they will. But I still think they need to learn proper social etiquette. Happy to hear you always message someone before adding them to a group. It’s best to actually converse with them before asking them to be friends. Just give it a go. :-)

Thanks Lisa, I appreciate your comment.

Have a great weekend.

~Adrienne

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41 Jeevan Jacob John
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 12:58 PM

I don’t use my personal profile for blogging (although I do accept friend request from bloggers). I focus on my fan page (so, no hassle there – everything is organized and well). But, I still can relate back to this, because people have added me to the groups too (without my permission). I let it go by, because most of them are good friends of mine anyways, so I just cancel my addition to the group).

But, I do agree with you, Adrienne. It is important to build that relationship first (even if it is outside of the network). I mostly build the relationships through commenting and take it to social media through sharing.

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42 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:05 PM

I never really had a personal profile for just personal stuff Jeevan. I actually got on Facebook for business purposes and this was back when they didn’t have fan pages of course. But, I still just shared helpful information, inspirational and motivational quotes, funny photos and videos with my friends. Most people don’t think to switch to their fan pages to join other fan pages so you want to be sure and connect with people as well I believe.

You are nicer then I am because I like to point out that what they did wasn’t cool with me. I mean if you’re good friends then you can tell them right!

You are on the right path Jeevan and I appreciate you sharing that with me. Thanks so much.

~Adrienne

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43 Praveen Rajarao
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 1:59 PM

Adrienne – I agree with you 100%, one should really respect other’s privacy and should not take them for granted on any of these social networking sites. Just because I am there, it doesnt mean that I will be interested in what all my friends are getting involved in. I would have followed or be-friended someone to get updates on their lives, it doesnt mean that I would also be interested in their other groups or fan pages.

This article is an eye-opener for many and I would certainly share it with all my contacts. Good you wrote this up.

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44 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 3:12 PM

Hey Praveen,

Thank you for sharing that and glad you agree and approve. I appreciate you sharing it with your contacts and hopefully everyone can learn something from what I’ve shared today. Facebook would be a lot better place to visit if this is the case.

Have a great weekend and thank you again.

~Adrienne

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45 Josh
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 2:37 PM

I used to be one of those people who would connect with anyone who sent me a friend request but I have gotten to be far more selective about it because I found that some of those requests belonged to people I really didn’t want to be associated with.

So now if I don’t know you or have had limited contact I am far less likely to accept your request. There needs to be a relationship or I need to see that you have one with my friends. That is not enough on its own to seal the deal, but it helps.

It really is about relationships and if you don’t take the time to cultivate them then you shouldn’t be surprised if things don’t work out very well for you.

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46 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 3:14 PM

Hey Josh,

I think we’ve all made these mistakes Josh. Heck, I use to accept them all under I got wise. I had one of those aha moments and realized that none of what I’d been taught was working for me personally.

From your lips to their ears. If only right! But maybe if more and more people aren’t being accepted as friends they’ll get wiser of the reasons behind it. I’m hoping so at least.

Thanks for sharing that with me and hope you’re enjoying your day.

~Adrienne

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47 Tim Bonner
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Hi Adrienne

I may be missing out but my personal Facebook account is exactly that, personal.

I only ever approve friend requests from people I have met offline.

I don’t think I’m not building relationships by doing it this way as I have a Facebook page as well. That’s where anyone else who wants to connect with me can.

It’s certainly interesting to hear how you handle your Facebook account Adrienne so thank you for sharing.

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48 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 3:16 PM

Hi Tim,

When I started online Tim all I had was my Facebook profile. They didn’t have business pages back then. Once I did get a fan page I learned that you can’t add friends so I still wanted that connection and most people didn’t post through their pages. So I decided I wanted a little of both worlds.

Glad you have a good handle on it Tim and I appreciate you sharing that with me. Thank you so much.

Have a great weekend and hope you and the family are doing something fun.

~Adrienne

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49 Kesha Brown
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 2:57 PM

OMG, I just hate the fact that anybody can add you to a group! I then have to go in and leave the group and/or turn off notifications (unless I’m just missing a setting to have to accept first). I wish Facebook let you know first so that you then can decide if you want to accept the invitation to that group or not. Sometimes I don’t find out I’m in a group until I start getting a bunch of notifications! Sheesh!

Darn Facebook and darn those people who thinks it’s okay to add you to (sometimes) unscrupulous groups!

Oh and if I don’t know you, I always send a message before/upon friending so you’ll know who I am. I hate getting requests from people when I have no idea why they’re friending me. I don’t want to have to take the extra time to friend you first (because like my own profile, most are private), see who you are, and then decide on my own if I should keep or delete you.

Just tell me who you are, how you found me, and why you want to connect. Those usually get an automatic acceptance.

Thanks for bringing these items up Adrienne! Sharing so that more and more people can see this!

~Kesha

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50 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 3:21 PM

Hey Kesha,

I hear ya… I open my inbox and see all these email from something I have no idea what it is. Sometimes I go from top to bottom so I’ll get a notice at the bottom that I was added and by who but I still never got an email asking me if it was even okay. I think you can send an invitation to people but for the most part they just add me without my permission and then like you, I have to go in and either leave the group or turn off notifications. Which I do for each group anyway.

I know, people should know better. That’s just not nice. Have that done to them every day of the week and they might have a change of attitude.

Good girl, you’re doing it right. That’s the way it should be done. Tell me who you are, how you found me, and why you want to connect. For the most part, I usually accept those too.

My pleasure and I appreciate your comment as always. I enjoy hearing your opinion on how you handle things too.

Thanks Kesha and have a great weekend.

~Adrienne

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51 Ruth Zive
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 3:58 PM

Hi Adrienne. I don’t think that you should be allowed to add people to groups without their preemptive approval (is there a setting for that?). I’ve found myself in groups that are not even remotely related to my interests, my business or my social network. It is so presumptuous and it’s such a pain to go and ‘leave’ those groups. Facebook needs to get on that!

Anyways, as always, an information and helpful post!

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52 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 4:31 PM

Hi Ruth,

I don’t either since you have to jump through hoops just to get your friend request approved. I think there should be a little more stricter measures for groups. It’s downright annoying if you ask me. I appreciate some of them thinking of me for some groups but the majority of them just add me to add me.

Thanks Ruth for sharing that and hope you’re enjoying your week.

~Adrienne

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53 Mary Stephenson
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 5:11 PM

Hi Adrienne

Ugh! Maybe it is the problem of trying to teach an “old dog” a new trick syndrome. But I feel that Facebook, Twitter, etc. takes so much work to make them really work for you.

I can grasp the concept of blogs and connecting with readers. YouTube and the ground work to make it work for you. But somehow I am lost in the time element that it takes to even get a connection to someone that is perceived as the purpose of just being social, with the eventual reason being as a business connection.

We can go out and make super friends with people on the internet and as in this platform, great connections and hopefully respect from bloggers and readers alike. With the social sites it appears and maybe I am wrong, you have to pamper the relationship just in case someone complains or sees you as selling to them. Kind of a delicate issue for sure. I realize most people on Facebook, etc. are there for social only. What is that commercial…about the girl saying her parents have 19 friends on Facebook and she has 646 (or whatever the number was) and saying that is living. She is home alone and her parents are out with their 19 friends!

So until this old dog figures it out, I guess I will just put my efforts into what I understand. I do have a Facebook, Twitter and a few other accounts, but maybe one day I will figure it out and how I fit into the picture of all of it.

Great post.

Mary

Mary

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54 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 5:37 PM

Hi Mary,

Doesn’t everything take work Mary? Isn’t it worth it in the end though? To be honest with you it takes more time then it does actual work but the process of meeting new people should be an enjoyable one.

The concept is the same on Facebook as it is on blogs. So you visit blogs in your niche, you comment and start making those connections right! So visit groups in Facebook that are in your niche and connect with people in those groups. Obviously you have something in common with them there so let them know you guys are in the same group and then mention something about what they posted last. They may have their own blog that you haven’t found yet, they may have their own business that would compliment yours but you’ll never know unless you strike up those initial conversations. Blogging isn’t the only way.

Instead of “selling” to them, ask them if they have a blog and can you guys exchange links. Let them know about commenting, share with them some things you’ve learned and help them along the way. They’ll appreciate that and you build up that friendship with them the same way you would with commenters on your blog.

Just because you don’t understand it Mary doesn’t mean it’s a lot of hard work. You have a lot to offer people so connect with those people who could benefit from what you share. You’d be surprised at how well this really does work.

Thank you for sharing that and hope that was helpful.

~Adrienne

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55 Suzanne Glathar September 13, 2012 at 5:50 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Great post, you touched on issues that I too have to deal with. I do get a friend request at least 1X a week from other people who are marketing their business, and I don’t have a clue who they are.
Luckily I haven’t been asked to join any games. Neither do I have the time or interest.

Suzanne

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56 Ileane September 13, 2012 at 6:04 PM

Hi Adrienne, social media has it’s quirks doesn’t it?
Well, you would think it’s ok for someone to send you a friend request without you knowing who they are – that’s how it works in real life right? I mean we meet people everyday at the store, or walking down the street and we say Hi and start up a conversation – and sometimes we even end up being friends with the person. But the online world is so different because there are so many scammers out there, you barely know who to trust or let into your circle. That’s why I’m glad they introduced the subscription option on Facebook. I subscribe to quite a few, but I can’t really say that I see their activity in my stream. My goodness with Facebook, who knows what’s what when it comes to visibility and EdgeRank and all of that.

I’m glad you and I are connected everywhere already, the only thing left is for us to meet in person. :)

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57 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Hi Ileane,

It most certainly does…

I agree and that’s really my point. Perfect strangers can meet online and start up a friendship but it usually starts with a conversation. A good bit of these people seem to leave that most important step out. Hey, just send me an email and tell me a little about yourself or what we may possibly have in common. Is that really that hard?

I don’t subscribe to hardly anyone Ileane. I really don’t have a lot of time to just go through the news feed as it is. My measly amount of friends is hard enough to keep up with. :-)

So glad we’re connected and I have a feeling we’ll be meeting in person in the near future. That will just seal the deal.

Thanks Ileane for stopping by today.

~Adrienne

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58 Craig McBreen
Twitter:
September 13, 2012 at 10:44 PM

Hi Adrienne,

“People really do want to work with people they know, like and trust.”
–Yes indeed!

This is a great post for someone like me. I’ve been blogging for a year and have only been on Twitter, LinkedIn and Google+ until recently. Yes, I finally went to the dark side and joined Facebook.

So a lot to think about here and I enter the world of the Dark Lord, Zuckerberg ;)

I imagine once I get familiar with the platform, I’ll have to tighten things up or maybe even lock it down! :)

Thanks for the great advice here. I do need it!

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59 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 8:22 AM

Hey Craig,

Yay, he came over to the dark side. So, how ya liking it so far?

Just treat it like any other social platform Craig and build up your friendship base with people you like. Branch out and dip into some groups and get to know some people. Just like all these other social networking sites, there are a lot of really awesome people waiting to meet you.

You’re building up a friendship base there to, you’re such a likable guy. Glad we’re friends there too. :-)

Have a great weekend Craig.

~Adrienne

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60 Craig McBreen
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 6:45 PM

Thanks for the advice. Seems a bit overwhelming at first.

Glad we are friends too. Have you read Amy Porterfield’s stuff on FB?

Have a good one!

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61 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 10:47 AM

It can be overwhelming at first but it’s really just like connecting with anyone else anywhere. You also don’t want your profile to be just you you you. You want to share other people’s stuff more then you share your own. Add some funny things as well as inspirational. People love that and of course images.

Yeah, Amy really knows her stuff. I actually purchased her course before putting up my fan page because I wanted to do it right.

Thanks Craig and enjoy your weekend.

~Adrienne

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62 Sue Price
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 1:43 AM

Hi Adrienne

Great post as always. As I was skimming the comments making it down to the box here I had to laugh at Oliver’s comment that spammers don’t read these posts. So true and such a pity.

How do you email someone before sending them a friend request – meaning where do you find their email? I send a message normally but never thought of email. If I know someone and then realize we are not connected I just send one. Like sometimes when we are syndication groups we know each other through there.

My pet hate is the one you mention in being added to groups. I hate it even if it is by someone I really like. Why can’t they ask!

My other gripe is when someone sends a friend request with a message and I accept and the next thing I have a link to whatever.

I guess there will always be spammers and you may be right in that they are being taught to do it.

I have had two guys send me messages recently declaring their love for me – oh please!

Good topic Adrienne I am sure we could all go on about it. :-)

Sue

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63 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 8:33 AM

Hi Sue,

Thanks, glad you enjoyed this one too and Oliver is definitely right. Spammers would probably never read a post like this unless they weren’t doing it on purpose and truly wanted to learn. They would probably be insulted that people thought of them that way.

You just go to their profile and right beside the button that says “Add Friend” is the “Message” button. Click on it and send them a message/email. You can send a message to anyone, you don’t have to be friends with them first. It’s better to connect with them that way so that when you do send that message they will know who you are already.

I agree, it irritates me to no end Sue when I’m added to a group even by someone I know. I had a long time friend do that to me just two weeks ago. Added me to two of them and still never emailed me letting me know he was adding me. Someone I really thought knew better.

When they send you a link then you need to ask them how that marketing approach is working for them. How are their “new friends” on Facebook receiving that type of promotion. Just ask in a nice way and let them know you’d like to help.

There will always be people who don’t know how to do things correctly while there are others that just have no common sense at all. Manners weren’t taught when they were growing up and no one took the time to mention these things to them. It’s part of life I suppose but when you build up a good friendship base you won’t have to deal with a lot of people like this. I haven’t had my wall spammed in ages.

Oh, you get those too. Aren’t they annoying? And you’re married.. The nerve of some people.

Thanks Sue, I appreciate your comment. Hope you and the family are doing well. Happy to hear that Nirvana is doing better. What a relief.

~Adrienne

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64 Ken Pickard
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 2:06 AM

Adrienne,

Great rant as always…got to love a good rant now and then! It states our commitment to our believes and core values. It also shows our character and leadership. But that’s another post for another time.

One of the things I love about Facebook is that we can connect with who we want, and we can move past people when ever we want. And it’s made this world of ours a little more friendlier. But like you, I’ve had my beef with spammers and friend requests masked with links to what ever.

A simple friend request with a note saying hi…I found your post here…or I saw you on this webinar or I liked what you said on so and so’s post. How difficult is that?! Look you don’t walk up to a stranger in a store stick out your hand without saying hi right? It’s the same online.

It’s called SOCIAL media…hello!! Thanks for posting this one!

Ken

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65 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 8:38 AM

Hey Ken,

Why thank you, I try to keep mine toned down some but still get the point across. See, there are things that get under my skin still.

New friends that share links still gets to me. I do my best to educate the although the majority of them just go right over their heads. Whatever!

That’s what I do love about social media. I can be friends with who I chose and if you tick me off then you’re gone. I’ve connected with people from different groups but like you said here, I sent a request letting them know where we’ve seen each other and why I wanted to get to know them better. I’ve even had a few chats on the phone with some of them as well and it’s been great. I’m still learning new things from them too. I love this industry. If only people would think about how these connections can benefit them both they might actually listen to what I’m trying to share here.

Thank you Ken for your comment and thoughts on this subject. Heck, you are Mr. Social Media in my book so they definitely need to listen to you.

Have a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by.

~Adrienne

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66 Dan September 14, 2012 at 2:20 AM

Thanks of the tips. Look forward to more

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67 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 8:39 AM

My pleasure Dan! Great to see you here and hope you’re doing well. How’s your blog doing since our class? I’ll have to stop by for a visit.

Have a great weekend.

~Adrienne

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68 Tracey - Life Changing Year
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 3:02 AM

I’m a bit confused by all the friending on Facebook. You once added your friends – people you knew. Or your kids friends so you could stay in the loop. Now all kinds of randoms are just collecting people! I’m also seeing the number of fb friends published as part of website stats. It’s just wierd. Once you start adding people you barely know it’s a whole different vibe to your fb feed. I’m particularly finding this with the US Elections at the moment. If I read one more weirdo post about the elections or that 9/11 was an inside job not caused by jets ploughing into buildings, I’m unfriending those oddballs! I don’t really want to read all their wierd pronouncements on life, I was just being kind adding an acquaintance as a friend! I’ve decided not to do it anymore.

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69 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 8:44 AM

Hi Tracey,

I know what you mean, it usually starts out just your select group of close friends and some family members. But then friends of friends want to connect with you and the next thing you know you’ve got those newbies in there who haven’t been taught the Facebook etiquette and they are off spamming your wall.

I was introduced to a neat extension just yesterday that can actually hide all that crap in your news feed you don’t want to read so I’m testing it at the moment to see how it works. I’ll probably be writing a post about it soon so you might find that one interesting. I’m sick of the political stuff too so you can completely turn that stuff off.

Thanks for sharing your views with me on this topic and from the link you shared through CommentLuv Premium, I see that you’ve ranted about this subject as well. I’ll be sure to stop by and check out your post.

Have a great day.

~Adrienne

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70 Carol Lynn
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 2:04 PM

Oh, I know what you mean about the friend requests. I’m my own worst enemy because I usually accept every friend request. I just figure it’s someone from a group or another site but sometimes it’s not and then you either get the people who want to constantly sell you something (unfriend) or you get the creepy guys who are in love with you (unfriend!unfried!)

It’s rare that someone even gives you any context for where they’re from or how they know you. I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sent me a message or said anything about my interests, but what a good idea!

Some people could learn a thing or two from this for sure. As for writing shorter posts, by all means, keep writing! You know I don’t mind a long post :)

Reply

71 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 4:21 PM

Hey Carol,

I use to do that too Carol because I thought they all wanted to connect with me. But they were only doing that for the same reason I was at that time and that was to get my information in front of enough people. They didn’t care about building any relationship with me. Rats!

Every once in a awhile I’ll get a message from someone wanting to connect but for the most part I don’t. So those that send me a friend request just won’t get accepted. Anyone who has read my post and I haven’t connected with them now knows why. It’s really better to actually find out more about the person you intend to connect with and let them know you’ve paid attention to who they are and what they like. Trust me, it will go a long way.

Thanks Carol and for those of us who are known for our long posts, I’m glad you can appreciate them. Just like you, there is never a lull in the content when I’m reading yours. It’s always chalked full of great stuff. You keep my attention the entire time.

Have a great weekend.

~Adrienne

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72 Mayura
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 2:47 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Well, those two are very annoying. Sending a friend request without letting me know who they are and why they wanna connect. I have my known friends on Facebook, so I do think of friend requests. Else I don’t send requests to unknown people. I was doing same mistake once when I send you a friend request, ’cause I haven’t known you much that time :) Anyway I did send you a message cancelling my request and you told me same thing you said today about requests :)

Groups… Owh no… That’s really an annoying part. I can ignore request but groups are growing with numbers without interaction. Facebook claims groups are for private space but people violating it. I doubt Facebook will bring strict policies on it. Heard rumors on it, but not official.

Nice tips Adrienne :) I MUST share this on Facebook for people who doesn’t know or care about these.

BTW did you find an alternative to ReplyMe?

Have a wonderful weekend ahead :)

Cheers…

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73 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 4:26 PM

Hey Mayura,

I like to meet new people Mayura, venture out and learn more about others. But in order to do that it’s kind of important that you check that person out first right! I mean you know that everyone you meet you don’t necessarily want to be friends with them. Oh sure, they may be good people but not someone you have some things in common with. Nothing wrong with that but it’s just better to try to build a relationship with people who you think you can really connect with. That’s just getting your content out there in front of them.

I wish Facebook would get a little more strict about that. Like you have to send people an invitation to join instead of just adding them right there from the group feature. I think that would be a lot smarter move on their part.

For now, ReplyMe is safe to use because there are no security issues with them. I have a couple of people looking into creating something similar so am waiting to hear back from them. I’ll write a post on the update of what I’ve found when I know more.

Thanks Mayura, have a great weekend. :-)

~Adrienne

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74 Carol Minarcik
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 3:56 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Your post is very GOOD! I totally agree with you about the tagging on others walls. I hate when people I do not know very well do this.

Also I surely want to agree with you also about just adding friends for NO reason……Great Point!

Keep up the great information! I shall return.

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75 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 4:33 PM

Hi Carol,

Thank you so much, I appreciate that and welcome to my blog. So happy that you stopped by today.

For the most part Carol I know that a lot of people just don’t know any better but if we can possibly educate those people who want to learn then they can spread what they have learned to people they come in contact with. Hopefully we can get enough people interested in doing things on Facebook the right way. Hey, I can dream right! ;-)

Thank you so much for your comment, it’s greatly appreciated. Enjoy your weekend and stop by any time.

~Adrienne

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76 Yeremi Akpan
Twitter:
September 14, 2012 at 7:36 PM

Hey Adrienne,
Facebook can be pretty annoying, especially the group invite part of it. I have got up from bed to find that I was part of some groups I couldn’t care less about, and my association with the group was already made public.

I completely agree people should be decent enough to ask for my go ahead before they do me the favor of adding me to groups they think I should be a part of.

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77 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 10:50 AM

Hey Yeremi,

Same thing has happened to me too. I’m trying to think why I’m getting all these messages until I realized I’ve been added to yet another group that I could care less about. I heard from someone several months back that people will do this to you so that they can once again get their information in front of you. Like that’s really going to work because we go back to the basics again, they haven’t built that relationship with me first. Sorry guys, that never works in the long run.

Thanks for sharing that with me and your own experience.

Have a great weekend Yeremi!

~Adrienne

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78 Kristen September 14, 2012 at 8:29 PM

Hi Adrienne,

I am so glad that we have connected! Very thoughtful post. I have to say that I don’t love being thrown into a group by a FB “friend.” I find it really weird when the purpose of the group is not related at all to what I do or who I am. I have found that the best longstanding FB friend connections have been made through blogging tribes and groups. Even though I am essentially a health blogger, I haven’t really met or made friends with other health bloggers for some reason, but I have met a lot of great people through blogging tribes and groups.

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79 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 10:55 AM

Hi Kristen,

Me too and through a great group too! :-)

It’s happened to me as well, I’ve been friends with a few people for over four years and good friends too but they’ve done the same thing to me too. The groups were not something I would be interested in which is why I was so surprised they not only put me in without asking but that I would even want to join.

I’ve made the best connections through blogging and then we’ve carried those over to Facebook as well. But I have made some great friendships through people I’ve met on Facebook that aren’t into blogging at all but are in the industry. That’s probably why they haven’t quite yet learned the proper etiquette of building relationships.

I’m surprised that you haven’t been able to build some friendships with other health bloggers. We need to find a way to help with that because you guys could support each other and probably are building a business in different areas of health. I know a few people I can introduce you to Kristen if you’d like. Just say the word.

Enjoy your weekend and take care.

~Adrienne

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80 JTwisdom September 15, 2012 at 1:23 AM

I think its hard to get the word out on facebook but I never sent friend requests. I want you to be on my Facebook page because you enjoy what I put on there and you like coming to it. I still sometimes wonder about keeping the facebook page but I know it’s a good social media tool so I keep working with it. Great advice on this post.

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81 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 10:58 AM

One thing about only having the Facebook Page JT is you have to remember that people aren’t really going to come to your page. They will see your information in their stream. Now if you only connect with other pages and they aren’t viewing their news feed through their page admin, they aren’t going to see your posts. If you connect with people more then they will be viewing your stream through their profile. Does that make sense?

I’m like you though, I only want you to be here because you want to not because I’ve coaxed you into doing something you really don’t want to. That’s not benefiting either of us.

Thanks for sharing and enjoy your weekend. Looks like you’ve been celebrating a wedding anniversary this week and hope it’s carrying over to the weekend.

~Adrienne

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82 JTwisdom September 16, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Yes, you are making sense to me. Connecting more is the key that’s why I am trying to make sure I have current content on my page.

Yes, my hubby and I are celebrating our wedding anniversary, thank you so much. Yes, we are carrying the celebration on for the whole month, my hubby’s birthday is next Monday so it seemed fitting to make the whole month a celebratory event.

Hope you are having a good weekend too.

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83 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 3:43 PM

Hey T,

Current content is great but if not too many people read it then it’s not helping much. Make those connections through blog commenting and on the social sites and your blog will get a lot more attention.

I love that you guys are celebrating all month long. Jay has a birthday coming up so there is even more reason to continue celebrating. I’m so glad you two are happy and in love after 13 years of marriage. That’s becoming more and more rare these days I’m afraid.

Thank you so much and I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend as well. I most definitely am. :-)

~Adrienne

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84 Atish
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 12:05 PM

You are right but On the new blog I will be sharing SEO stuffs from my own experiences. Technology, social media and other stuffs will be secondary. The main topic will be SEO, online marketing etc. Let see how it goes.

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85 Atish
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 11:32 AM

This is very correct that talking 2-3 times doesn’t give permission to add you in any group without your consent. I hate it when someone add me and also I hate those person who keep on inviting for farmville, fishville and other games. I just hate these. I love discussions with fellow bloggers and love to share my knowledge & experiences.

But Very few people are willing to discuss who are serious about blogging and business. But I must say Facebook is full of fake people who are just here to share their links. No signs of relationship building effort from their side.

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86 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 11:45 AM

I’m not sure about how many people actually have fake accounts but I do know that a lot of people come onto Facebook from the suggestion of whoever they are learning from at that time so that they can get their information out in front of the masses. Little do they know that’s the wrong way to do it so they do end up hurting themselves in the long run.

I just hope for the most part that people will eventually learn that by connecting with others is the way to building a successful business and not the other way around.

Getting invites for games can be very annoying but I think I’ve finally found a way around that and will share with you all later on after I’ve tested it myself.

Thanks for your comment and enjoy your weekend.

~Adrienne

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87 Atish
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 11:54 AM

Oh thats Great. I will love to learn from you thanks you very very much. Hey me and Zainil launched another blog which is just started. Please have a look on that. Link is in commentluv. Have a look please. Will start sharing posts from this weekends.

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88 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 12:01 PM

Yeah, I’ll write a post about it later if I end up liking this. So far it seems to be working rather well.

I saw that you created yet another blog. I’ll take a look at it but I must admit, there are a lot of “tech” blogs out there now. You’re going to have to do something special to stand out from the rest. The majority of them that I visit I find boring and stale. Too technical and not enough personality for me.

Best of luck though with this one.

~Adrienne

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89 Jamella Biegel
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 7:26 PM

Hi Adrienne,

Your post wasn’t too long and this needed to be said. I’ve never understood sending friend requests to complete strangers. I have nothing to base the “friendship” on, so why would I accept it? I’ve accepted a few friend requests from friends of friends, but if I find that we really have nothing in common, or find that they are posting objectionable content, I unfriend them.

I hate being added to a group without being asked! I agree with you that this is just rude. A quick email or chat message is all that is needed to find out if someone wants to be added to a group. Common courtesy is just lacking these days.

Facebook is definitely about building relationships. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is missing out.

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90 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 12:45 PM

Hi Jamella,

I can’t tell you how many friend requests I get each day and none of them ever send me a message first. They could be part of a group I’m in but if I were visiting their blog then I would know right! If not then how would I know. I can’t believe that people who have been online for a number of years don’t know any better yet!

Bingo!!! Common courtesy is lacking these days. It’s like knocking on someone’s front door and instead of introducing yourself you just come right on in, make yourself at home and say nothing. Would you do that? That’s what people are doing on social media. It’s not cool.

Thank you for sharing your opinion Jamella and hope you’re doing well. Enjoy your day!

~Adrienne

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91 Michael Belk
Twitter:
September 15, 2012 at 9:10 PM

I realize how to make contact with people, but I will be the first to admit I do not follow my own advice.

You have outlined some great ideas. I am really busy working on my blog so it takes a little too much time to do otherwise, but I will try.

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92 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 12:54 PM

If you want people to take notice of your blog Michael then you need to make those connections. You get to know people on Facebook and eventually they will be interested in what you do. With the information you share on your blog, you can always point them in the direction of a post you wrote on a subject that you both may talk about. Those connections are important.

I’ve noticed though Michael that you don’t have very many sharing options for your readers. Like you don’t even have a Tweet button on your blog so when those connections are made and you want people to share your content they aren’t able because you’re not giving them those options.

We all get busy I know but the end result is that you need to build those relationships with other people because that will not only benefit you down the road but them too.

Hope you’re enjoying your day!

~Adrienne

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93 Michael Belk
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 1:34 PM

Thanks Adrienne for the critique of my site, I made some changes and it looks pretty good. I think :)

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94 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 3:40 PM

Glad you took it the way it was intended. Just trying to help you out Michael cause you have great content to share. I do like the look of your site too, the clean fresh look is what I like best.

:-)

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95 Michael Belk
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 3:44 PM

Thanks Adrienne that means a lot coming from someone that knows.

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96 Romy singh
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 3:52 AM

Hello Adrienne,

Everyone in world wants to connect with other people.

We want to connect with people who help us to accomplish our dreams, our goals. but most of people are doing it all wrong, just like you mentioned.

Remember, “Connection without any action is forgettable as well as unacceptable. ”

You can’t build connection by just sending a friendship request. You’ve to work hard. If you are here to increase your friends list count then keep sending those useless request. but for real connection you’ve to work.

The most easy and best way to understand building good and strong connection is think about what a real friend does – A real friend is there for you to share your burden. A real friend understands you and encourages you. And most importantly real friend always tells the truth.

Building a connection is exactly same as making new friends.

Before you send request try to gain some ground information, and also try to get attention for you by commenting on his blog, facebook page, use twitter.

“The first meeting is introduction, but the follow up is real connection. Try to introduce yourself first and then keep following.”

I love Facebook. :) Because it’s a great platform for building lots of good connections. :)

Thanks Adrienne for wonderful post. :)

_Romy Singh

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97 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Hi Romy,

I’ve heard a lot of people say that some of the best friends they have are ones they’ve met online and haven’t even met in person. I think sometimes it’s great to connect with someone and you soon find out how much you have in common. The next thing you know you just enjoy sharing information with them and you’ve opened up so much to someone you feel so comfortable sharing your story with. At times it’s better then the conversations you’ve had with friends of yours you’ve had for years.

Those are the types of connections that you want to have. Those are the people who will be there for you time and time again. That will share your content, help you in areas you aren’t familiar with or introduce you to people who can help you down the road. You can even end up working together in your current business or perhaps doing something down the road together.

Making those initial connections is what’s important but it all starts with a conversation. Stick out from the rest, go that extra mile to know you’ve noticed them, mention something about something you two may have in common. That’s how you get people’s attention.

Thank you for sharing that as well Romy. It’s just like making friends offline.

~Adrienne

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98 Aditya
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 4:05 AM

What bothers me most is when I get absolutely unnecessary friend requests from people I don’t even know in the online world and secondly when I’m tagged on pictures with no connection to me at all.

What you tell is exactly right, it’s not good enough just to scream out to anyone who’ll listen. It is very important to find out the really interested ones and target them ‘effectively’ rather than stalking them, LOL.

My page is getting a good number of likes everyday and the interaction on it has certainly increased. I guess, I’m doing the right things.

Thanks for the heads up Adrienne, love your intelligently written articles.

Aditya

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99 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 1:03 PM

Hi Aditya,

I wish that the majority of us weren’t agreeing on this subject because that would mean that it’s not happening to all of us. I wish so much that was the case but it’s everyday to almost everyone I know. People just send requests yet don’t even take that time to say Hi!

I’m so happy to hear that you’re getting more likes on your page each day and that there is interaction going on. You are doing the right things Aditya and you are building that fan base. Good for you, I’m so happy for you.

Glad you enjoyed this post and that you enjoy what I share. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend.

~Adrienne

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100 Roz Bennetts
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 7:11 AM

Hi Adrienne, all so true!

I also dion’t like people putting me in groups and have immediately unsubscribed from a few – a far better way is to invite people to join a group and I wish people would do that.

Another pet hate of mine is some brand’s spammy pursuit of likes and shares. I saw one supermarket post a graphic split into two with only two words on either side – ‘mild’ and ‘hot'; the post asked: How do you like your chilli? Click ‘like’ for mild and ‘share’ for hot. It was a clever way of getting shares and likes but it wasn’t really evidence of people engaging with their brand.

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101 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 1:06 PM

Hi Roz,

Yeah, I sure wish it weren’t…

The group thing continues to annoy me and I feel like a broken record sometimes letting people know that’s just not cool.

Businesses want to get their info out there and they don’t necessarily care about engaging. I’ve seen so many people throw things out there that they have to like it in order to get their opinions heard. I might want to share that one particular thing but that doesn’t mean I want to get everything they share. Very clever and sneaky way of doing things, just like hyping things up for you to buy. Gosh, I do hate that ya know.

Thanks Roz, I appreciate your comment and hope you’re having a wonderful weekend.

~Adrienne

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102 Sunil
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 9:16 AM

Hi Adrienne,
As I am Younger i am addicted to Facebook so much!
Even most of people are addicted to it.
As you have mentioned many outlines, i see Many of my friends bring people and throw into group who are not at all interested to it….. actually one must and then oly must add to it… but people continue to be same….
i like to play many games over Facebook….

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103 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 1:15 PM

Hi Sunil,

Now please do NOT take this the wrong way because I don’t know if you fall into this category or not but I think a lot of the younger generation just has not ever been taught any manners. I’m just talking about the majority of the young people I have come in contact with.

It’s just common courtesy to ask before you throw people into something they have no interest. I don’t think that they are actually thinking of their own reputation or that they could be marked as spammers. Now I’m sure a lot of your friends aren’t here to build a business either but just have fun and connect with their friends. Either way it’s just rude.

I have a feeling though Sunil you are NOT that way at all. But I’m glad you have fun on Facebook.

Thank you for sharing that with me. Hope you’ve been enjoying your weekend.

~Adrienne

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104 Dr.Spencer Jones
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 12:19 PM

Hello Adrienne, I remember opening a facebook account doing just that, posting links and adding people until the numbers hit a few hundreds. Then I came to the realization that they aren’t reading my junk posts, then I stopped adding and started only accepting friend requests. Also I added only those that mattered to me, those that I learned from or those that I wanted to learn from. Anyway right now I have just around 1200+ friends and every day I am getting friend requests. And they keep coming and I still have many friend requests to accept.

A tip to get more views to your links, likes and comments is to include a picture instead of posting just a link.

Dr.Spencer Jones

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105 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 1:17 PM

Hey Spencer,

Thanks for sharing that and your story sounds like mine. I know it’s just a learning process but hopefully my post will teach you the right way to do things so you can save yourself a whole heck of a lot of time spamming people.

Thanks for sharing that Spencer and you’re right. Imagines go a very very long way.

~Adrienne

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106 Jens P. Berget
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 2:10 PM

I am still not sure how to use Facebook, and there are especially two things I’m not sure about. And that’s personal vs business, should I only talk about things related to my business or does it matter what I talk about as long as it’s something I enjoy talking about?

I’ve been filtering my activity on Facebook, so when I talk about marketing, only people interested in marketing will see it, and the same with my Facebook Page. But should it always be about marketing and my business? Building relationships is so much more than just business, and that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately.

I’ve been on Facebook for a long time, but I’m still making a lot of mistakes :)

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107 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 3:49 PM

Hey Jens,

When I started on Facebook they didn’t have business pages although they said to “not” promote your business on the personal pages or Facebook would shut you down. So what I did is when a personal friend or relative wanted to connect with me I told them I was using this more for my business so that’s the majority of what I would share although I certainly enjoyed seeing what they were sharing as well.

I believe the personal profile should show more of who you are… I do share other people’s blog posts but only those I think my friends would want to see. I don’t share every blog post that I visit that one day. I also will share my blog post when I publish it, I share positive and inspirational quotes each day on an image, I share a question but not relating to business and I share a funny video or photo. People will be able to connect with you and that will get them interested in visiting your blog and your fan page.

On my fan page I do the same thing but my questions pertain to their business or blog and I share more content from my friends. I’ll share a post or a video message but I’ll do that more than once a day. If your business is more on the subject of marketing then share that and ask your fans questions. Maybe ask them problems they are having with marketing or are they having success, etc. Ask them things that may get them interested in visiting your blog so they can get more answers.

I am connecting with people on my fan page through messages as well when they have a question or I’ll ask them to stop by my blog because I’ve written a post on that topic etc.

Just connect with people on that personal level first. Find out who they are, what their interests are and from their answers you’ll know whether what you offer they will need. Either way, your blog content is entertaining as well all while teaching us the lessons on how to market.

Thanks Jens, see you tomorrow. ;-)

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108 Jens P. Berget
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 5:38 AM

That’s great advice Adrienne. It’s been hard to be both personal and doing business within the same network. It has been so much easier with Twitter. To me, Twitter is all about marketing, while Facebook is “everything”.

See you soon :)

Thanks.

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109 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 8:06 AM

My pleasure Jens and you have an absolutely fabulous week. Starting today! :-)

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110 Dia September 16, 2012 at 3:55 PM

Hi Adrienne,

I agree with you my friend, it is very crucial to build relationships including on facebook. It can be difficult to keep up with everyone on a regular basis, but yea connecting with others is crucial for anyone who wants to succeed online. I did a similar mistake with twitter when I first joined it, I sent request to many people, but guess what, we never connected. Thanks for sharing my friend

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111 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 16, 2012 at 4:11 PM

Hi Dia,

I look at Facebook like I do my other friends. I don’t talk to all my close friends every day. Some of them I’ve known since high school and I may not talk to them but once a year. The thing is that we do still keep in touch and we would be there for each other if we needed to. The same goes for online friends. They all get busy in their everyday lives too but it’s the ones that like to just say Hi every once in a while maybe on their wall and see how they are doing are the ones that will get remembered. That’s how to keep it going without over exerting yourself.

We’ve all made these mistakes and I did the same thing on Twitter too Dia. It was a great lesson for me though. I definitely know better now.

~Adrienne

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112 Steve Hippel September 17, 2012 at 4:44 AM

Hi Adrienne.
I don’t have a big following on FB because I tend to use it more socially. I had a push in various groups and like you got nowhere because everyone in the groups was interested only in promoting their links.
The funny thing is, Facebook has provided me with reasonably regular business through my personal profile. The groups have provided some business but largely through the people I met and become friendly with.
FaceBook might be massive but I can’t think of anyone who goes on FB because they need a plumber or accountant. People use FB to chat and share stuff.
Just like in the offline world, it’s not what you know it’s who you know. There is a big clue in the name “SOCIAL” network.
Having said all that, I’m very far from a being power user :)

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113 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 8:05 AM

Hi Steve,

You’ve just proved Steve that although you don’t have a huge following, you’re using it to connect to others which is leading to them wanting what you have to share. That’s the key, making those connections so that when it gets around to what you do, they will most likely want what you have to share.

Thank you for reiterating what I’ve been trying to say about the online world whether you’re on your blog or a social networking site like Facebook. It’s about making those connections.

Thanks Steve and have a great week.

~Adrienne

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114 Khaja moin
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 7:02 AM

I too see many people making such mistakes but I didn`t try because I feel bad when someone asks me who are you? So I first connect with him on his/her blog then I will share his/her post on FB so that he will recognize me. Then I send friend request within few mins it get approved :)

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115 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 8:08 AM

That’s a great way to connect with others Khaja… That way they are sure to recognize you when you connect with them but still, it’s best to send a message letting them know that you did visit their blog, enjoy their post and shared it with your friends. Special kudos to you.

~Adrienne :-)

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116 Anubhab September 17, 2012 at 7:35 AM

Hi Adrienne,

I must agree to what you mentioned here. Connecting first with the users via Email, always creates a sort of trust between both and also elevates the priority. However it totally depends on the individual about how much leverage they are going to give into it for execution. Which is the most important factor of any work.

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117 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 8:09 AM

Hi Anubhab,

Each individual is different, you are right about that. At least by connecting through email first and trying to get to know them you are taking that first step. If they don’t care to connect with you then it’s time to move on. Everyone has their own agenda online and some are here to build their business while others just want to make that fast buck.

~Adrienne

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118 Suzanne
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 5:00 PM

Adrienne, thanks for bringing these issues to light. I am one of those “old fashioned” facebookers, if there is such a thing. I use my personal account to stay in touch with my international family. You could say I almost “hoard” my personal account because it’s a place I can be “me” when I feel like it. So when I receive fb requests from people I don’t know without any explanation, it dumbfounds me. I just ignore the requests. Suzanne

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119 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 17, 2012 at 5:27 PM

Hi Suzanne,

I’m so happy to hear that you are often dumbfounded too about why people would just send you a friend request without communicating with you first. I’m not quite sure why they’re on Facebook if they haven’t learned this yet. Oh wait, they’re still being taught that’s okay to do. Yikes!

Thanks for sharing that with me Suzanne, always nice to know.

~Adrienne

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120 Louise
Twitter:
September 18, 2012 at 7:17 AM

Thank you so much Adrienne for sharing this information. I couldn’t agree more with you, but as you say, many people just don’t know any better. I have always been quite selective about who I accept as a friend and, and like you, I only accept requests from people I have previously had some sort of conversation with.

I always think that we should behave in Social Media the same way that we would at a party. We don’t just walk up to strangers and ask them to buy our latest product. Instead there’s small talk and maybe a great discussion about a topic. We build rapport by finding some common ground and only when we are ready to move on do we perhaps offer our business card if there is a reason to keep in touch. If you wouldn’t do it in real life, don’t do it on Social Media is my motto.
Louise

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121 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 18, 2012 at 8:27 AM

Thank you Louise and I’m happy to hear you view this the same way.

I wish more people would understand that social media is like the offline world. How you would introduce yourself to a stranger and why you even would. Not that you should shy away from that but that it’s a process. Find out if they are even open to what you offer and if they aren’t then maybe you can have a good friendship from that or just an acquaintance. You aren’t going to like everyone anyway.

Thanks for sharing that Louise and I do hope you’re having a wonderful week.

~Adrienne

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122 Gladys Cruz
Twitter:
September 18, 2012 at 2:42 PM

Hello again

It was such a delight to connect voice to voice today. I am honored that you took time to hear me out and help me. You are so right abot facebook. I have to really watch it, because like you, I am looking for relationships, I don’t just want to be a number on someone’s fb .
Honest and down to earth aricle.
Thank you again

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123 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 18, 2012 at 3:02 PM

Hey Gladys,

It was a delight to speak with you as well. I’m so happy that I was able to help. That’s my middle name. ;-)

If you want to have success in life or in business, build relationships. They are what will take you the farthest and at the end of your life, they will what mean the most.

Thanks for sharing that Gladys and it’s a pleasure to have you stop by my blog. I appreciate your comment.

~Adrienne

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124 Kelvin Myles September 18, 2012 at 7:21 PM

Hi Adrienne,

I’m beginning to think Social Media is a misnomer and a lot of the time Asocial Media would be a better description.

Unfortunately there are so many people promoting or selling the idea of ‘free’ leads through social media without explaining the need to create some form of relationship that we get inundated by social spam. There are some days that my newsfeed looks like a who’s who of MLM and internet marketers!

All we can do is try to educate those that really want to learn and ignore those that don’t.

Real relationships are so worth the effort and should be the focus of anyone involved in social media.

As you so eloquently point out ‘treat people the way you would want to be treated’.

Kelvin

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125 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 18, 2012 at 7:52 PM

Hey Kelvin,

I agree with you Kelvin and I’m always surprised by these people who claim to have so much success with buying leads on Facebook when I hear from the people who are discouraged with them because they enticed them into their web and then totally ignored them. Yeah, that’s really working for them. Breaks my heart.

I wish more people would realize this is about building relationships and trust me, they would go a lot further.

Thanks for your comment Kelvin, always a pleasure to see you.

~Adrienne

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126 vivek September 21, 2012 at 1:17 PM

I think most important reason behind is that when we become blogger and start blogging we don’t know how to write a article and we keep on posting and that irritate till the time you become good blogger.so avoid these mistake just concentrate on your work and come up with smart ideas so that people love to see your links not start banning you…

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127 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 21, 2012 at 2:09 PM

You are a person first and foremost Vivek so how to you interact with your friends offline? That’s what you should remember. It’s about making those connections first and it doesn’t matter what you “do” you need to remember what’s important. Agreed?

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128 Sonia
Twitter:
September 23, 2012 at 1:15 PM

When I joined Facebook it was because of my friends, but what I ended up doing was friending people I didn’t even know. Did that make sense? No, but now I tend to unfriend people that don’t even talk to me. I think some people friend anyone to just see their pictures and news feed, but if they never speak to me what’s the point?

I love talking to people and connecting with my friends and family. It’s been a great tool to find old friends and rebuild relationships lost. I am still amazed to find people I thought were lost years ago. Great post Adrienne because its not just about selling to people, but connecting and keeping the conversation going.

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129 Adrienne
Twitter:
September 24, 2012 at 8:23 AM

Hi Sonia,

See, most people come on Facebook to connect with their friends and families. That’s why is was initially created. So when people want to be friends with you, I can’t for the life of me figure out why they don’t reach out to make that connection. Instead, they just send a friend request and then vanish. Still boggles my mind Sonia.

Like you, I went back and deleted a lot of people who I had connected with yet have not had one conversation with. Oh, I’ve tried. I’ve reached out to them and tried to pull something out of them but obviously they weren’t interested. Hey, fine with me. Your loss!

Thanks for sharing this and reiterating what everyone should be doing on Facebook. Making those connections.

Have a great week. I’ve missed you. Hope things are slowing down for you.

~Adrienne

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130 Alex Aguilar October 2, 2012 at 10:36 AM

I always chuckle when I see individuals or small businesses with thousands or tens of thousands of followers on Facebook or Twitter. Really, you’re a self-employed blogger/SEO-person living in the middle of nowhere, Kansas – and I’m supposed to believe you have somehow amassed 7,000 Twitter followers and 5,000 Facebook friends? I’m sure each and every single one of them is a loyal and devoted follower.

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131 Adrienne
Twitter:
October 2, 2012 at 12:41 PM

Hey Alex,

Well, you can be successful living out in nowhere that’s for sure but you haven’t done it without being in the public eye and being everywhere.

I think for those people who are just going for the numbers thinking that’s going to improve their chances of popularity have a lot to learn. I only wish that was all to it.

Thanks for your comment and I’m sure a lot of people feel the exact same way.

~Adrienne

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